luna_nyctophiliac

I confess. I am a crazy person. Which is, that I can be bad, rude, mean, ruthless, and annoying. 
          	But, if you see this side of me then it's the last time you see me. 
          	If I say mean things to you, I will be in tears & cry later that night, even if I am in the right.
          	Bcuz, being crazy is not in my nature.
          	I don't like hurting people. I don't like spreading hate. I'd rather be hurting & be in pain myself than hurting someone for my suffering. I'm insane like that.
          	Bcuz Idk how to cause pain intentionally.
          	So, if I do hurt you, just believe you deserve it. 
          	Bcuz that will not be intentional. It would be something very real. It would be me, finally opening my eyes to the light, not staying blind, getting out of the dark. 
          	It would be me being real to myself and you. 
          	My actions and words will be the shadow of yours.
          	Don't complain when my reactions are caused by your actions. 
          	Don't victimize yourself and make me the bad one.
          	When I share how your words or your actions hurt me and get brushed off? Don't expect me to ever talk to you about my feelings again. 
          	Bcuz you not only make me feel unsafe but also make me question and doubt myself. When I've come a long way in my life, I don't wanna anyone causing me more pain & bringing insecurities to me any longer.
          	If I feel invalidated for talking about my feelings, and you blame me for not sharing things? 
          	I am not the one at fault here.
          	Do not expect me to be open with you anymore, bcuz I will start feeling unloved, and uncared for and detach myself. 
          	These feelings, love, actions, thoughts, and considerations can never be and are not one-way things. 
          	It is something that is meant to be reciprocated.
          	Position, actions, feelings, reasons and circumstances do not justify you from hurting someone, whether or not whose guilty.
          	Solve the problem, find solutions, and break the situation, Don't let that moment break you. 
          	Life is too short to hold on to hatred.
          	Be Kind. Forgive and Forget. Spread Love.

luna_nyctophiliac

I confess. I am a crazy person. Which is, that I can be bad, rude, mean, ruthless, and annoying. 
          But, if you see this side of me then it's the last time you see me. 
          If I say mean things to you, I will be in tears & cry later that night, even if I am in the right.
          Bcuz, being crazy is not in my nature.
          I don't like hurting people. I don't like spreading hate. I'd rather be hurting & be in pain myself than hurting someone for my suffering. I'm insane like that.
          Bcuz Idk how to cause pain intentionally.
          So, if I do hurt you, just believe you deserve it. 
          Bcuz that will not be intentional. It would be something very real. It would be me, finally opening my eyes to the light, not staying blind, getting out of the dark. 
          It would be me being real to myself and you. 
          My actions and words will be the shadow of yours.
          Don't complain when my reactions are caused by your actions. 
          Don't victimize yourself and make me the bad one.
          When I share how your words or your actions hurt me and get brushed off? Don't expect me to ever talk to you about my feelings again. 
          Bcuz you not only make me feel unsafe but also make me question and doubt myself. When I've come a long way in my life, I don't wanna anyone causing me more pain & bringing insecurities to me any longer.
          If I feel invalidated for talking about my feelings, and you blame me for not sharing things? 
          I am not the one at fault here.
          Do not expect me to be open with you anymore, bcuz I will start feeling unloved, and uncared for and detach myself. 
          These feelings, love, actions, thoughts, and considerations can never be and are not one-way things. 
          It is something that is meant to be reciprocated.
          Position, actions, feelings, reasons and circumstances do not justify you from hurting someone, whether or not whose guilty.
          Solve the problem, find solutions, and break the situation, Don't let that moment break you. 
          Life is too short to hold on to hatred.
          Be Kind. Forgive and Forget. Spread Love.

luna_nyctophiliac

I'm here to talk about how foolish some people can be.
          I think people who freak out & criticize about age gaps between fictional characters are the most craziest & the stupidest people. Basically, loafers with need to vent their emotional wrath online by criticising or hating others for irrational & inefficient reasons. 
          I was reading an ff, where I saw some criticisms about age difference & they started calling that character a pedo... 
          You read the tags, the summary the title & u know what u r walking into then why the heck r u complaining? Infact in real life, Ryan & Blake they both are such loved couples & they have the age gap of 11 yrs. If u can beat that why r u having issues with a 12 or 15 age gap in fictional stories? Hell in real life there's an age gap of like freaking 20 or 25, sometimes even more & there r still few accepting audience to their collective. 
          This is not constructive criticism, if these idiots think that's what they r doing then stop with it, cuz u r not. People need to stop with their 'practical criticism.' Bcuz stop being so practical, It's a frickin fiction/fantasy for a reason. If u need practical joy go read novels or biographies. Not every fictional story has to have practical sense in them. 
          Stop trying to relate ur life to fanfiction which is most often made for joy. If u want some practical sense in them, there are angst novels, so go find them. Bcuz u can't get practical story without any sort of angst.
          So u don't have to like it, but if u don't like it just leave or don't read at all. STOP WITH THE HATE!

luna_nyctophiliac

JUNGKOOK!!!! This man! I knew it was going to be a romantic song but not literally about "do you want some ramyeon" or "do you wanna come see my cat." It's funny how everybody's talking about that multiple mattress thing at jk's home. Also I really loved the dynamite performance & Euphoria after such a long time! And now I'm so looking forward to suchiwita's new episode with jungkook!

luna_nyctophiliac

It just makes me wanna dump my phone deep underground. This app has been very dear to me. A place to recuperate, settle & balance my emotions. Past few yrs were pretty bad on my mental health. I lost motivation for literally everything. Day & night I used to dangle between this platform, work & social media to escape my thoughts. Not wanting my pathetic ass getting more crushed by over thinking, I lean on this app a lot. It gave me a sort of a emotional freedom to not repress my thoughts/feelings & I interacted freely with some amazing author's bks. This place became my heaven, everytime I didn't wanna deal with my emotions or give in, I leaned here. Although some ffs left me more messed up then happy, I didn't feel I was hiding or repressing anything anymore. I felt myself thinking & becoming more clear about my feelings. 
          But now in just once yr, this place has changed a lot. This yr I found some amazing authors & their incredible work & they all got deleted. 
          Some bks were so close to my heart.. I felt myself going down the same spiral I escaped. And boy, did those bks do wonders for my mental health. But they're gone now. I feel like deleting this app but also read all the ffs in my list again in fear of never finding them there again. I feel my safe space crumbling down. And now I wonder, how long before nothing remains & I leave this place.

luna_nyctophiliac

I hate these people so much! It reminds me of larry. Idk why & how these fools expect that artists will marry a common person? Like get out of ur dreamworld! Okay, it can be 'one in a million' kind of a thing, but stop! These people are crazy! Learn to differ between fiction & reality! Also, they think they have the right to control artist's life?! Just bcuz they're grateful for our love & support doesn't mean u exploit that power. On the contrary, love is priceless, it doesn't cost u a dime! U either love them or hate. And it's so easy to just walk away from the things u hate I wonder what's stopping these maniacs? Like 'WALK AWAY' why spread hate?! Losers!!