mack-collette
Please read:
Wow, it's been a while since I was last on this account... Over a year probably? Idk. I don't even know if anyone who is following this account is still active, haha. But anyway, I'm not here to say I'm back, in case that's what anyone was wondering. The opposite, actually. It's been a while since I've even thought about this portion of my life, but for some reason it came to mind today. Not really sure what's up with that, but I've spent the better part of this morning going through my old instagram accounts and such. And then I found my way back to Wattpad because, way back in 2016 (and probably a bit of 2017), this was such a huge part of my life. It's something I can't delete or really forget. There are so many memories here, as well as so many people I met as a result of trying to put my writing out there... Not that I really talk to nay of y'all anymore but still. That's probably more my fault than anything.
Quick update on my life, if anyone cares: I just finished my sophomore year of college. I'm an English major, and I'm minoring in creative writing. At this point, the plan is to go to grad school after I graduate to get my MFA. Don't know what will happen after that. But that will come in time, I'm sure. In more current news, I'm going to Italy next month to work in an ESL camp for 2 weeks, and I'm super psyched about that. Life is good right now, and I'm happy. Really, truly happy. It's funny, because when I was still writing the stories and such I published on this site, I was the opposite of alright. I was depressed, questioning both myself and everyone around me. I was insecure and scared and unsure of what I should be doing and where my place in life really is. And sure, I don't know all that now. I'm still figuring things out. But life is so much better now, and that's significant to me. It's part of what separates the current me from who I was back in the day.
[continued below]
mack-collette
Sorry for the huge long rant thingy, but that's how it is now. I'm not going to mess with this account, though. I considered deleting my bio and unpublishing Misalignment and Unparalleled, but I don't think I will. It's a testament to who I was, and even if the ideas behind it are wrong, I believe there still is some good in those stories. It's not representative of me anymore, but maybe it will provide a place for conversation and debate. Or maybe it's just a pride thing because I got so many views way back when, I don't know. Either way, they stay. Just know that they will never be updated and for all intents and purposes, the author who created them is gone. Mack is no longer here.
If anyone wants to talk about anything I just spouted out, feel free. I don't use Kik or anything anymore, but if you have Facebook messenger, my user thing is air.catchers. If you message me and want to discuss (or just yell at me about how wrong you think I am), I don't mind in the slightest. I'm just really awkward though, so be warned. That much, at least, hasn't changed a bit.
Anyway, I'm done now. Probably won't ever come back to this account. My time here is up. Peace out, homies.
mack-collette
All that to say, I don't want to be who I was anymore. Maybe this post, for whatever reason, is me trying to forgive myself for the mistakes I made a couple years ago. Maybe I'm trying to tell anyone who will listen to discredit the words I wrote back in 2016 because they were uninformed. Maybe it just doesn't matter what we call ourselves - male or female, non-binary or agender, gay or straight or anything else. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong for calling yourself something, because we all call ourselves different things. I still do too, even if they're different now than they were back then. But please, think about the reasons behind why you call yourself what you do. There has to be a reason. Maybe you're uncomfortable in your own skin. Maybe you're rebelling against a family who tries to tell you that you can only be what they tell you to be. Maybe you're running away from the only one who truly matters, doing anything you can to distance yourself and make yourself "not good enough" for him to ever take you back. Maybe you're like I was.
I've grown a lot in the past year or two. I'll admit that right now. I'm not the same person who decided writing on Wattpad was a good idea, not by a long shot. I'm not perfect now, and I don't have all the answers I've been searching for, but I've found what truly matters and am pursuing it as much as I'm humanly able. So now I have a new label: Christian. Maybe it's crazy, considering I was so completely atheistic before, but things have changed and I'm not sad to see the old me go. I'm not sad to realize that nearly everything I believed in while writing Misalignment and Unparalleled was wrong. And I'm not afraid to admit that, either, even though y'all probably hate me for it now. It's not what I believe anymore, and that's okay. I'm nearly 21, and what I thought as an immature teenaged brat doesn't define me anymore. Say what you will, but that's my story and I'm sticking with it.
