nova lawrence

his clothes smelled of smoke
and his mind was clouded with it
every time i tried to extinguish the smoke
it kept spreading

i never did get through his head
i'm scared of what i would've found
maybe a few broken dreams
maybe a couple broken hearts

i loved him
more than i loved myself 
that was my flaw

i waited for him
for minutes 
for hours
for days
but all i had was silence
and with the absence
of his words.
i took it as an answer.

i still can hear him whispering the words
the words that i was afraid to say
the words that changed my life forever

those sweet words he said
in a way nobody ever could say

he gave those words a meaning
and only he could say it in a way i believed it

but it's so sad that now he left 
those words keep running through my head
and those words that meant so much to me
are now the words that keep me up all night 
and scared me to death.

                'I love you.' he said.