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i find it weird that no one ever, not even my parents, has mentioned the gap in my teeth. i think its the one thing i recognize thats me and no one acknowledges it. my mom has the same exact one.

what good am i in this world if im not smart, im not pretty, i cant be nice, i ruin everything for everyone. there isnt a single thing thay i can do thays worth something so what good am i

i see all these people telling stories of why they wear makeup like they got bullied/acne/were insecure/didnt pull. but i have an obsession with beauty products and i wasnt bullied, i didnt have acne, i wasnt insecure, and i had a lot of boys into me. i had no reason except i saw my bestfriend wear makeup and i wanted to he just like her. i miss her

i dont remember what my legs looked like without scars. its sad rlly

i love being a female. i get to wake up and do my makeup, stress over outfits, stress over my hair. but its all so relaxing and therapeutic. i love snuggling and kissing my girl friends, i love loving and supporting girls. i love talking about boys. i love watching myself grow physically and mentally. i love being a girl despite all its flaws.

m parents came in my room to fix my windows. im sweating.. if they move THAT thing they are gonna see it.bomgmtmtotmtm

sry heres another post. but so i have maladaptive daydreaming and one thing thats so tiring about it is whenever im trying to sleep, i HAVE to think of FAKE scenarios to sleep. NEVER can my brain rest. and whenever im trying to sleep i just think "cant i just stop thinking abt unreal scenarios? can't i take a break" i cant.

i have this drop dead gorgeous girl on snap, prettiest woman to ever exist. i dont remember whether i added her or she added me but either way. this girl changed my life. i asked her for a makeup tut and she IS SO KIND!!!! i tried it out, loved it. tried out her skincare. loved it. she UNLOCKED EVERY BEAUTY SECRET EVEr! im on my knees for her.

they tell me to kms but they know damn well all of them have told me they were in love with me. i ❤️ being the only girl in a boy group. "you guys are all my pookie bears, minus (me) thats weird." but im still welcomed in their group so i know im important. "(me), theyre being mean, lets facetime without them."
          "(me) u probably dont pull" coming from the man who gave me a promise ring.

as a kid, i always was excited to get older. i thought itd be so cool to be able to drive, to spend money on my own, to roam around a store, to eat whatever i want, to have my own pets, to have my own place. but now i am getting older. i dont want to, im scared to leave my mom, my friends, the comfort of not having to pay bills. i get eveythirg handed to me. im scared of being alone. i wish i was 8, 10, even 12. even if i was annoying as a kid, i was just figuring things out.