Lentejas

Wait wtf— I have over 1k reads on my book— um— thanks— I— I don’t know what to say ;( I’m so appreciative I promise, I’m just at loss of words

The thing you were unable to give was the thing I gave too much of—willingly for that matter. I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the lies that left your lips when you opened your mouth. The soothing voice made chills run down my body, leaving me cuffed and vulnerable towards you. I savored your empty words on the tip of my tongue, and I couldn’t help but lean in for another kiss, burying every insecurity into my saliva and deliver it into your mouth. I was burning up. My chest, my hands, my body felt incredibly warm as I whispered into your ears, hoping you’d tell me the truth. When the words didn’t come and you simply followed my lead, I realized I had been too foolish to think I’d ever be able to stand aside you. You. On this high pedestal. Me. Balancing myself onto a thin thread, just to be closer to you. You said some more words, but none were the ones I was looking for, none of them explained the reality. I bled some more while I waited for your confession, and I bit my tongue with my teeth to taste some more of your candy. I fed you my honesty, in a cup crafted from the finest gold and silvers, giving you the reason for every tear and every beat of my heart. But you kept yours inside and fed me poison straight from your fingertips. Oh, how delightful it was, to be brutally murdered by you, Princess.. 

“How are you so perverted yet so sweet all of the time?” 
          
          Ma’am— was that a love confession—? 0-0 idk I just broke up with my girlfriend waaaAAAA

My hand was on her waist, her back pressed against the tiled wall. We were dumb young fools, giving in to these weird and questionable things, giving it all a try. My lips were spreading kisses all around her face, my other arm was against the wall as well, allowing me to lean in as much as I could, capturing her there. I inhaled repeatedly, trying to get maybe even the tiniest wiff of her scent. I was cursing myself then for not having a sense of smell, I would’ve loved to know what it was she smelled like. She’s looking at me with those chestnut irises of hers, her face spread pink. “Can I kiss you?” I asked. When she let out a small, “Yes please..” I took the bait. My lips were on hers within a matter of milliseconds, taking in her heavy pants. Our lips moved in unison, my hand moving upwards towards her cheek were I stroked the skin, closing my eyes and I let my mind take over. It was wet with saliva, making obscene noises in the dirty bathroom. We would’ve picked a better spot, except we knew no one would come in here, no sane person would, it was the worst bathroom in the entire school. But it gave me a thrill none the less. When I separated from her, she had that smile. I reached to card my hands through her blonde hair. I wanted to cry then. I wanted to envelop her and cry into the fabric of her t-shirt, the only reason I didn’t was because I didn’t know her favorite color, or her favorite animal. Time would come when I would be able to answer those questions, but for now, I knew that I liked her. That was enough.. for now. 

I don’t think I’ve ever been so infatuated by someone in my entire life. A whisper is enough to have me whip my head around and wait for your next words, holding my breath to hear your clearly. Do you remember that night we shared? Where we were with our other judgmental classmates? The music was loud in the background. I was looking up at the sky when I saw you follow my eyes. When I looked at you then, I saw everything I’ve ever wanted right there in my arms: you. I ran to get you the candy you had asked for and I came back panting hard. I had realized; watching you standing there; poised; delightful; wonderful; lovely… I realized my heartbeat had become faster. I didn’t know if it was because I had just ran to get you that candy or because you looked so marvelous under the gentle light coming from the darkened sky. I remember it all vividly, the imagery, the gentle sway of your blonde hair: you probably don’t. I found myself looking for you in the swarm whenever the bell rang. Even now I look for you amongst the crowd, with the tiny hope that one day I will run into you. If that does ever happen, I’ll grab your hand and twist our fingers together. I’d place my other hand on your waist, and just like that: I’ll twirl you and lead you onto a gentle dance. I can see us: dresses long to our ankles, yet the edges would flow with the gust of the season’s air. We’d dance and be referred to as best friends when really we’re in love, and the people would call us dykes but we wouldn’t care. We’d continue to dance and spring together, wrapping each other in warmth and desire. That’s only a fantasy, I’m aware; but we can dream. I can dream. 

IF YALL SEE ME MASS DELETING SHIT— ITS BECAUSE A FRIEND ASKED FOR MY WATTPAD USER TO READ MY BOOK AND I DONT WANT HER READING THROUGH ALL MY RANTS *sobs*

Lol I got COVID, I’m gonna die istg— *plays bumblebee 15 notes a second*

I’m sleeping inside my closet cus they’re gonna come and kill the roaches, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to be in the closet hHAHAHA I wanna die 

I’m so scared for school. They’ll probably be all like “So, ____, what’s an interesting fact about you?” 
          
          And I’ll panic and just come out *insert cowboy emoji*

Either I slept walked or I— slept walked because wtf why am I in the bathtub