it's really the thing that made me. the thing that built me up, made me who I am. it's what's hurting me now. it's what's hurt me the most. and what I liked to think was that things were looking up, but now that notion seems ridiculous. what I just want to know, is if the few, not many, that did matter. I want them to be alright, be okay, not know. I care about them the most. I love you.