thestardustwitch_05

Allow me to explain:
          	
          	
          	I was 15 when I rejoined Wattpad. It was peak pandemic quarantine era and I was getting into my Beatles phase. I was a young autistic little gay boy who still had hope for the world; still a naive little guy begging for people to see him and give him attention. I'd say my life changed after I posted my Mclennon fanfic.
          	
          	Since then, I had met cool friends at the time, or, at least, people who seemed to be there just for the silly chaotic fun. It led me to finding a boyfriend and discovering, yet again, the throes of heartbreak. It led me to almost having a manager and a full band, but I was so delusional that it wasn't possible. It led to me writing weird self-insert crossover fanfics and, somehow, wanting to make a Netflix series for it for whatever reason. It led me to making “Halloween takeovers” inspired by a youtuber.

thestardustwitch_05

this message may be offensive 
I guess all there ever was in my part was desperation, a quench to be understood by outcasts like me. And, for a while, I thought it kinda worked. But I found myself to be too trusting of people and, looking back at the conversations, I feel bad for myself.
          	  
          	  I used to think I'd cringe at myself by now, when I was probably 17-18, at the bridge between who I was and who I can be. But, now that I'm a fully grown 19-year-old man, I somehow don't. I can look back at these memories I cultivated here as somewhat of a lesson. It was the glory days, until they died out. And that's okay. Maybe we've all grown out at some point. Maybe some of us try to latch onto that feeling and grasp it tightly before it's too late. Maybe we don't resonate with who we were, but at least we can accept it as part of our growth. Hell, for all I fucking know, no one will probably read this. That's fine too. I'm done trying to expect people's attention, no matter how much I kinda still want it. Speaking of…
          	  
          	  I'd like to say I'm no longer a people pleaser so badly, but it isn't as heightened as it was before, as I got better at controlling my emotions and learning to express myself fully. 
          	  
          	  I'm moving on with my life and leaving behind this app. A proper goodbye.It's been a fever dream of a ride. Take care of yourselves.
          	  
          	  
          	  Vasco.
• Reply

thestardustwitch_05

Allow me to explain:
          
          
          I was 15 when I rejoined Wattpad. It was peak pandemic quarantine era and I was getting into my Beatles phase. I was a young autistic little gay boy who still had hope for the world; still a naive little guy begging for people to see him and give him attention. I'd say my life changed after I posted my Mclennon fanfic.
          
          Since then, I had met cool friends at the time, or, at least, people who seemed to be there just for the silly chaotic fun. It led me to finding a boyfriend and discovering, yet again, the throes of heartbreak. It led me to almost having a manager and a full band, but I was so delusional that it wasn't possible. It led to me writing weird self-insert crossover fanfics and, somehow, wanting to make a Netflix series for it for whatever reason. It led me to making “Halloween takeovers” inspired by a youtuber.

thestardustwitch_05

this message may be offensive 
I guess all there ever was in my part was desperation, a quench to be understood by outcasts like me. And, for a while, I thought it kinda worked. But I found myself to be too trusting of people and, looking back at the conversations, I feel bad for myself.
            
            I used to think I'd cringe at myself by now, when I was probably 17-18, at the bridge between who I was and who I can be. But, now that I'm a fully grown 19-year-old man, I somehow don't. I can look back at these memories I cultivated here as somewhat of a lesson. It was the glory days, until they died out. And that's okay. Maybe we've all grown out at some point. Maybe some of us try to latch onto that feeling and grasp it tightly before it's too late. Maybe we don't resonate with who we were, but at least we can accept it as part of our growth. Hell, for all I fucking know, no one will probably read this. That's fine too. I'm done trying to expect people's attention, no matter how much I kinda still want it. Speaking of…
            
            I'd like to say I'm no longer a people pleaser so badly, but it isn't as heightened as it was before, as I got better at controlling my emotions and learning to express myself fully. 
            
            I'm moving on with my life and leaving behind this app. A proper goodbye.It's been a fever dream of a ride. Take care of yourselves.
            
            
            Vasco.
• Reply

thestardustwitch_05

to be honest, there's no easy way of saying this but i'm leaving Wattpad. reason being that i've kind of fallen out of it and it's no longer interesting me anymore. there's no creative flow that i can share and things have happened with a certain person there and... i'm going to quit.
          if there is one thing that helped me get through 2020 was getting more into Wattpad whilst writing 'Our Happily Ever After' (which, if you may recall, is becoming a TV series and i'm so far as to writing the second season of it) and meeting all of my incredible friends. even with the whole mysterious Halloween 'take-over' (which was inspired by VannaMelon) it was all so fun, to the point of finding my then love-of-my-life here on Wattpad. emphasis on 'then'.
          and, until i can sort out what it is that i want to do in Wattpad, i'm going to quit. might be temporary, might be permanent, who knows for sure? but until then, please respect that - at least for now - I've started to not feel the fun that I felt in the godforsaken year that is 2020.
          
          with all that in mind, take care everyone!