She was talking.
But, it wasn't real... this was old, grainy and sad all through.
And she refers to the past and her present which is gone, now, and the future of which she won't be attending.
And a little piece of me breaks.
And then the whole wall, which I thought was infinite, shatters in infinitely no time. The past is gone, her present is gone and my future is fading to nothing.
Where there was an us, then a her, then endless sufferings that echo deeper than all the nothings.
And I think, like a million, but what stood out was the fake happiness she used so harshly and painfully to cover is what she thought was a gift. I didn't get it.
The real gift would've been to have know her and to have listened.
I didn't get it.
She gave me something so much more slower and soul shattering:
To question if this means... had I known her at all...
Had I known you?
Am I filled with the endless beauty that was you or the space that remains without you?!
Or is this forever uncertainty the only thing, of which I did get?
Just something that I wrote that I want to share.
I'm not announcing, so I won't get any attention... it's a good thing for me, though.
