Interlinked

Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

   Have you ever looked outside the window of your car and thought of the possibilities of life or how would your life turn out to be if it were to be in a musical video, perhaps?  Just because your eyes are attached to the fast moving trees outside of your vehicle, as they mix all sorts of colors- from green to brown to blue and then white before you think of letting out a molecule of air that was resting lazily in the end of your throat.

    Wherever I go, I seem to wonder about the chances of living someone else’s life. Could it be worse than what I had in mind? Or will it be a blissful life, with love and care surrounding him or her? Will they have dirty secrets they tried hiding from everyone they’re in love with? Would they be privileged to be sleeping peacefully in their own bed, having no nightmares or fear of living or sleeping endlessly?

    Those questions always dance in my head in which they allow me to distance myself from people, from my family, from having a normal love life and from life itself. For we might believe that having this sort of fear when it comes to socializing with people could be due to insecurities regarding your physical appearance, but if everyone took a look in their past they might understand that a specific fear could be ‘cause of one person.

   A person who changed your life for eternity.

  A person who used to take you, somewhere private, and just promise that whatever you might do is plain fun and a private manner. A person you thought he was there for you, but your fresh soft mind was never able to understand that the fun in the past might have turned out to be a secret you can’t really share with anyone else.

And by anyone, I really mean anyone.

    “Raquel,” mom softly taps on my door as I avert my eyes from my social studies' book and walk up to open the bed room door for her.

  “Yeah, mom?” I massage my temples and give her a soft smile.

“Are you okay?” She asks, knitting her eyebrows together. I nod, and then lean onto the door before I slowly sway with it left and right. “Okay then,” she smiles as she sighs out heavily, “your grandfather and I are going to have dinner, then we will go and get Trevor from his soccer practice, alright?”

  I take in a deep breath, feeling that my chest is closing upon itself which aches my entire body but I guess that’s just plain normal because I’m still recovering from such a terrible accident. “Sure,” I whisper before I press my lips on her cheek to kiss her.

  “Be down in five,” she puts her hand in the air – having five fingers stretching in front of me. I giggle and then nod at her before closing the door in order to clean up my desk.

   After five minutes, I find myself leaving my room and heading for the dining room that is located downstairs as I notice my grandfather’s white hair and slim figure from the bottom of the stairs. He turns around, his back no longer facing me and he offers me a kind smile in which I return. “Here’s my favorite grand-daughter,” he chirps as he opens his arms gesturing for a hug the moment I reach the first floor.

 “Hey,” I pat on his back, signaling that the hug should be over any second now, “did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, it was alright.” He finally pulls himself away from the hug before patting slowly on my shoulder.

“Raquel, dad!” I hear my mom calling for the two of us from the dining room.

  “We’re coming!” I shout, informing her. I quicken my pace, and finally fix my eyes on the meal that’s set on the table before I rush and take a chair out so that I can seat myself properly.