ꜰɪʀᴇʙɪʀᴅ |ᴊᴀᴍᴇꜱ ᴘᴏᴛᴛᴇʀ

chapter 6 - in my feels

"Yes I do remember that, but I still don't know how I feel." Ember said. "Well, how about you ask James how he feels about you, and what he feels when he's near you. Then you can identify his feelings with yours to see if you feel the same way." Sirius suggested, standing in the door frame. "How did you even get up here Sirius?" Ember asked him. He just shrugged, saying "Doesn't matter. The only thing that matters are feelings. Now come on." he said walking towards her and pushing her out of the dorm. 

"Sirius, where are you taking me!" Ember yelled at him. "Ember calm down, I know you don't think anyone was watching you today at breakfast. But James was, he saw how you reacted to the letter. I know what was inside that letter, it was something from your mom, don't try and deny it. When you saw the owl, you went pale, your happiness faded. Do you want to know what James wanted to do? Hmm? He wanted to hug you. He didn't want to ask you out, he didn't want to tease you, all he wanted to do was make you feel better." Sirius told her calmly while they were in the astronomy tower. "I know you are a smart person, but you are so bloody oblivious to what James feels for you. He truly cares about you. I think at first it was an obsession, but now, well you should confirm it with him. And now based off of what I just heard you and the girls talking about, i'm pretty sure you feel the same way."

Ember stood there shocked as Sirius just left. She knew her vulnerable side was coming out as she felt her eyes watering. She just sunk to the floor on the astronomy tower, tears falling down her face. She started talking to herself, "My life could have been great, you know, but instead my life can drastically with the drop of a bloody pin. My dad died because of my first accidental magic. My mother abuses me, ignores, makes me feel worthless. I don't have any siblings. All my relatives are either dead or muggles. I hate myself now. Being at school makes it better, but any progress i've made, blows to ashes as soon as I get off the train. I don't think i'll ever have love. I just push everyone away. Even if people do love me, they will all leave me in the end eventually. I could cut, but I don't deserve to let the pain out. It deserves to be bubbling inside me, eating my heart out, urging me to push everyone away. I don't think I know how to receive love, what have I been doing to James for the past year, even after I found out I reciprocated the goddamn feelings." She sobbed to herself. She opened one of the cabinets to find 10 bottles of firewhiskey. 

She ended up drowning herself in sorrows and 4 bottles of firewhiskey before 2 of the marauders found her at 3 in the morning. She wasn't quite conscious when they found her either. She only heard muffled voices. 

"Bloody hell Padfoot look what she's done. She's been crying her heart out, she drank four bottles of firewhiskey, she's not alright. We need to see what else she's done just to be safe." Remus said  "Yes but we have to figure out where to take her. She's not going to want to be seen vulnerable by Lily and her other friends. She's only ever been vulnerable in front of us. Our only choice is to take her back to our dorm." Sirius told Remus. Sirius then proceeded to pick up a half conscious  Ember, carrying her to their dorm. 

They reached the fat lady and heard Remus whisper, "lions of the school" and the painting swung open. Sirius continued to quietly walk up to their dorm, Remus leading the way. Remus slowly opened the door, beckoning for Sirius to carry the now unconscious Ember. They placed her down on Remus's bed as James stirred in his sleep. They decided to get her into more comfortable clothes, picking out one of James's t-shirts and one of Sirius's sweatpants. After the boys tucked her in to Remus's bed, both boys fell asleep.

* * * *

It was 5 in the morning when James woke up the sound of someone quietly sobbing. He thought  it sounded like Ember, but he knew it wasn't. He wanted to check on the person anyways. He grabbed his wand, "Lumos." And there laying in the corner, was Ember Holland, rocking herself back and forth. 

"Ember, is that you?" he asked, just to make sure. When she nodded, he jumped out of his bed, and rushed over to her, "Ember, hey Em, it's me, your okay, your okay." he told her. He had no idea what to do, he only knew he wanted to make her feel better. "Hey Em do you want to tell me what's wrong, maybe I could help you" he whispered to her. She looked up at him with dried tears on her rosy cheeks, "You can't help me with this James, it's not your fault." He sighed letting her lay her head on his shoulder,

"Hey James, can you get me some chips? I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast." He nodded, "Of course love," he kissed her head lovingly, and he mumbled, "I'd do anything for you." He then went down to the kitchens to grab her some chips. 

He came back to find her not where she was earlier, he began to freak out until he saw her. She had grabbed one of his sweatshirts from the drawers, and was now laying in his bed. His chest filled with warmth at the sight. He decided to let her sleep there for now, and left the chips of the side table. Unfortunately, she had sensed his presence, waking up and grabbing his wrist, "Please don't leave. I just need you tonight." she whispered. He nodded picking her up and sitting her in between his legs. He handed her the bag of chips and smiled when she happily started munching on them. When she had finished the chips, she set them down on the table. She then started to yawn and cuddled into James's chest. His heart sped, his body felt her warmth against his. And with that feeling of warmth spreading throughout both of their bodies, they fell asleep.

together.