Feelings

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Enjoy!
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Later in the evening, at Lucy's apartment

Narrator's P.O.V

The exhausted blonde took off her shoes and put them on the doorstep before stretching extensively.
It had been a long evening.
An evening in which she had ignored Natsu without a break, even when he spoke to her dozens of times and tried to make her laugh.
She just couldn't and didn't want to talk to him after he talked to her so disrespectfully and carelessly, like every other time they were together.
Sometimes she wondered if he even understood what he was saying all the time or did he just not care?
Lucy knew that she was important to him.
But was she more important than others?
No, it's cruel to word it like that.
Wasn't she special for him in any kind of way?
Did he see her like any other friend?
Or was there a difference between the others and her?
She was so curious that these thoughts not only burned into her brain, but all over her body as well.
She needed answers.

Of course she already knew that he was waiting for her in her room.
His shoes in the entrance basically told her.
Nevertheless, she wondered why he had come, because he looked more than just angry when Haru offered to take her home earlier.
He just stormed out of the guild and she really thought he was going to his own house in the woods.
The fact that he was with her anyways only proved again that she probably didn't know him as well as she had always imagined.
It made her sad and angry at the same time.
Angry at herself because, as always, she only imagined things that weren't there.
Sad because the boy she loved was just so incredibly inaccessible and mysterious.
He never showed his true feelings to anyone.
If he did, he'd never talk about it ever again.
He spoke in puzzles that not even she could understand.

What the hell was „Let's be together forever!" supposed to mean?
Was it a confession?
Did he just not want to leave her side?
Or did he mean everyone, including her and the whole guild?
Or didn't he know himself, considering how dense he was?

Lucy just couldn't get a hold of him.
And it made her so angry.
Frankly, it pissed her off.
It pissed her off that she seemed to be the only one thinking about his true feelings and thoughts.
It pissed her off that he was so hard to read, that he never gave her clear signs, that he never showed any kind of emotion in front of others except for being angry, happy or goofy.
She wanted to know him better than this.
Heck, he didn't even want to tell her that he was END!
Didn't he have any trust in her at all? What has he been thinking all this time?
Was he even thinking?
Or was she the only one who stayed up late, thinking about him, his actions and his indefinable words?

Her arms were trembling and she tried to pull herself together not to rush to him immediately and reveal all of her feelings to him.
Instead, she bit her lower lip and made her way to her room with clenched fists, pilling all her emotions inside.
When she got there, her eyes met those of her best friend, who had meanwhile comfortably laid down on her bed.
His dark green eyes looked deep into her soul, at least that's how she felt like.
Her heart skipped a beat when he finally sat up to get a better look at her.
But it confused her, why was he looking at her like that? What was his reason?
Suddenly he got up, startling her so much that she almost fell back if he hadn't caught her at her waist in time.

As quickly as he had her in his arms though, he let go of her again and looked to the side.
That didn't last long though.
Before she could even say anything, he jerked back to her and rubbed the red lipstick off her mouth roughly by using his rugged thumb.
It hurt like hell and his increasingly aggressive movements didn't help either.
Lucy tried to stop him by trying to push him away, which unfortunately failed because he was much more powerful than her.
Even when she bit him, that didn't stop him from completely removing the red lipstick that was meant to irritate men.
Gray had explained it to him at the party after Lucy had ignored him the whole time.
He told him women wear red lipstick to please one certain and special man.
And this man couldn't be anyone but Haru, in Natsu's eyes.
The Dragon Slayer couldn't keep his flaming emotions in check anymore, it just became too much for him to handle.

Something inside of him burned so intensely that even he, as a fire mage, felt hellish pain coming from his heart through his guts and even head.
Haru was the cause of his pain and Lucy didn't have anything better to do than to dress up for that guy.
She even wore red lipstick and she knew that it was Natsu's favorite color.
But she wore it because she wanted to impress Haru!
Why would she decide to just anger her best friend like that?

It's true that he didn't see any difference between lipstick shades, because to him, Lucy looked pretty in anything.
He liked it the most when she didn't have any Make Up on because she would just look like herself.

But that didn't mean that he wanted her to dress up or look good for others.
She can do that for herself or even for him, but why did she have to include other persons? Other guys? What was she trying to achieve?

He finally let go of her, just to get slapped hard by her.
„What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she yelled and held her wounded mouth.
„No, what the hell are you doing? Since when did you start to try and seduce all the males living in this god damn world?!" he roared back, showing off his sharp dangerous fangs.
„Are you kidding me?! If there's someone I'd ever want to seduce, it w-would be-!" before she could confess, he interrupted her angrily.
„It would be Haru, right?!" he shouted and glared down at her.
„You know what..." she mumbled.
„YES, it would be HARU because I love HIM" she continued as tears were starting to develop in her brown orbs.
Everything was a lie, but Natsu didn't know that.

He was taken back by her response.
He expected her...no, he wanted her to deny everything he said.
Bur instead, she...proved him right?
„Love?" he repeated.
„What's that supposed to mean? You want to be with him and not with Fairy Tail?" he asked quietly.
The whole room remained silent.
„You are so...hopeless..Natsu" she sobbed after a while of not saying anything.
„You couldn't even tell that I lied.." she added and wiped her tears off, however, they kept flowing down her porcelain face.
„You..lied?" he repeated and he felt a heavy weight finally lift from his heart when he did.
„And now you even proved to me that you don't even know what love is" she laughed bitterly.
„I...I know what love is" he whispered.
„No you don't. You can't differentiate between mere family love and romantic love, you don't know the damn difference" she stated.
„That's also why I want to give up on you" she confessed and he widened his eyes.
What did she mean by that?
„What...?" he breathed out.

„I never planned on telling you because I didn't want to risk our friendship...but you are so stupid and dense that it wouldn't make a difference to you anyways..." she said and paused for a second before continuing.
„I've fallen in love with you" she admitted bravely but still didn't look into his eyes.
„With...me?" he followed up quietly.
He knew what that meant but he didn't find any words to say.
He wanted to tell her what he felt so badly, but nothing came out of his mouth.

After him not reacting in any way Lucys gaze saddened.
„Please go out now" she said and ran into the bathroom, locking herself in.

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I guess this fanfic is coming to an end as well, who knows?
Hope you liked it 😳

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