A Shady Place

5

The flight from Anaheim to San Jose took one and a half hours. That was for the artists. The crew were stuck with a six hour drive, since we went wherever the show equipment went.

That meant I'd be in for a shit ton of maneuvering around an enclosed space with a man who I'd thrown out of my room the night before. I didn't feel bad about it, but I missed hanging out with Kevin. Isis must have sensed that something had happened, because she made sure to plant herself in the seat next to me, hunched over a little, yellow-paged novel for the whole ride.

I folded my arms on the table in front of me, resting my chin on the joint of my wrist and staring out the window. The route that the logistics staff had coordinated for us involved skirting the California coast for much of the ride. Since it was still quite early, the fog rolling over the Pacific ocean hadn't burnt off yet. The sun hanging low on the horizon set the gossamer shroud alight, beautiful orange and red hues creeping over the landscape. I smiled. My dad always told me if you could watch the sunrise or the sunset, then everything was okay. I think it was a mindset thing. Problems and conflicts just seemed to melt away into insignificance when contrasted by the methodical movement of celestial bodies and the vastness of the universe. He was also the type of person to get his own name tattooed on his back, 'in case I'm ever murdered and they need help identifying the body', he had said, so I was never quite sure how seriously to take him.

I picked at my nails, then glanced to the other side of the bus where Kevin was sprawled.

He wasn't a bad guy, I didn't think, and I could hypothetically see myself enjoying a relationship with him. But at the same time, I didn't feel the need or desire to attach a part of my identity to the guy like that. The idea of centering oneself around a single person had never quite appealed to me, because I personally just didn't think that was the way the world worked. That belief was what had Lucy and I drifting in opposite directions. I scratched my chin. I should probably call her or something, but she'd likely be at work by now. She had always had a soft spot for postcards though, so I decided I'd pick one up when we got to San Jose.

* * *

We were starting to get used to the setup of the show, so that was now running a lot more smoothly. And because of that, we had a solid fifteen minutes of downtime before we needed to install Ice Cube's snow machine. That had always been one of my favorite effects. Of course, it wasn't real snow, given that it would quickly turn into a safety hazard when melted, but the fact that a glorified bubble-blower was being used on the Up in Smoke tour made it all the more appealing.

During our little break, Kevin pulled me aside, guiding us into an unused dressing room. "Uh, I wanted to apologize about last night, I just needed to cool down a bit. You're not really a slut," he said firmly, and I felt my brow crease. More than anything else, it sounded like something he was trying to convince himself of.

"I appreciate the apology, but this doesn't change how I feel about you." I cautioned slowly. "You make me feel good, and I like spending time with you, but I don't think we want the same thing."

He smiled, cupping my face with his hands. "Megan, I'm willing to wait, if that's what you need."

"No—"

"Oh shit," Marshall's voice sounded from the doorway. I glanced over to see the laugher falling from his face as he processed the scene. "I ain't mean to interrupt," he bit out, his expression now blank. He turned on his heel. Gone as soon as he came.

Glancing up at Kevin and lifting his hands away from my face, I offered him a small smile. "I'm gonna head back out."

"You going after him?" Kevin asked, tilting his face. The overhead fluorescent lights exaggerated the sharp shadows of his bone structure.