Strawberries and Cigarettes || Haechan

🍓 19 🍓

"What's your problem?!"

It was lunch time and Shani stomped her way into the cafeteria for the first time. She usually locks herself up in the student council room, taking care of business.

But today was different.

"Woah! Prez, calm down." Jeno stood up, placing a hand on her shoulder.

She shrug him off, eyes trained to Haechan who was silently eating. Acting like she wasn't there.

"You! We need to talk, now! Before I completely lose my temper!"

Haechan only glance at her, eyes empty and cold.

"God help me." She mumbled, pulling on the collar of his shirt and forcefully pulling him up "You're a jerk, you know that?"

"Always have been." He said "Nothing new. If that's it, go away—"

She breathe heavily in anger, trying to calm herself down "I don't know why you've been avoiding me, but ok. Whatever. But beating students up! Really?! Why did you do that? Do you know you almost beat the kid to death?!"

"Prez," Jeno stepped in, trying to ease the tension "The freshman started it. He was taking pictures of Haechan. Like a stalker—"

Shani harshly let go of his collar "Just because of a fucking picture, he almost killed another student? Is that normal to you Jeno?! Is it?!"

"Prez, hear me out—"

"What's there to hear?! Your friend is a heartless jerk! He doesn't respect anyone! Not his classmates! Not his teachers! Not his friends! NOT ME! Does he even have a heart!"

Haechan heard enough. He's been holding himself back. But not anymore. He grabbed her shoulder, pushing her against the wall.

"If you think I won't fight back because you're a girl, then you're wrong." He spat, voice icy cold "Mind your own business."

"Why are you so angry towards everyone? Why are you acting like a brat! Why are you acting like you're better than everyone else!"

"Shut the fuck up." He punch the wall beside her face, making her shut her eyes tightly "Just because I let you kiss me and touch me doesn't mean you know me. You barely know anything about me."

She slowly opened her eyes, trying to mask the tears with anger "Then make me understand! Because honestly, you're just being a total jerk! Let me guess. Your ex-girlfriend broke up with you and you can't get over her? So you're rebelling in hopes she will come back? Jokes on you! If I'm that Hyun girl you kept calling, I would never come back to someone like you!"

Haechan stopped. His whole body froze and his heart dropped.

Shani was still between his arms, breathing heavily, face flushed red.

Jisung approached them, placing a hand on Haechan's shoulder "H-Hyung?"

Haechan dropped his hands, staring intently at Shani as he spoke under his breath "It's not just a heartbreak....I'm grieving."

He turned to walk away and Shani was dumbfounded, watching his back get further and further away.

She covered her face with her hands, mumbling "Grieving....you say I wouldn't understand. It turns out, I'll understand best."

"You shouldn't have said that." The voice was sharp and furious.

She lifted her head to see Chenle and the rest of Haechan's friends looking at her.

Renjun stepped up "Haechan is trying. We thought you're good for him but you're just another girl who thinks you could control others."

"School president my ass." Chenle rolled his eyes "You're just a stupid girl."

"You really hurt hyung." Jisung added.

Shani cower at their judging eyes, feeling overwhelmed and guilty. He was right, she didn't know anything.

But she was just concerned...Haechan beat up a student. As the school's president, it was her responsibility to look after everyone. But he was also her boyfriend.

Even if it was just for the benefits, he was still her boyfriend.

So she reacted that way. Out of concern and duty.

She pushed past his friends, emotions overflowing. She knew where she'll find him. Up on the rooftop.

And she was right.

He was looking down the soccer field, cigarette in his mouth. His eyes were red and puffy....she knew he'd just cried. And it made her feel worser.

"D-Donghyuck..."

He didn't look at her.

"I didn't know. Ofcourse I wouldn't know. You didn't tell me anything."

"Why would I tell you? You're a stranger."

Her heart dropped "Am I still a stranger to you? I'm your girlfriend."

"We were using each other."

She didn't know why but her vision started blurring with tears "But still....still, a part of you didn't feel anything at all? Not even a bit?"

He sigh "When I'm kissing you, my heart races fast. But it's not about you. I think of her. It's her who holds my emotions."

Shani wiped her tears "You're a jerk. The biggest jerk I've ever met."

"You're addicted to me. The things we do. The things I make you feel. It wasn't anything special....it was just the pleasure and fun."

"You're right." She tried to stop herself from crying "But Donghyuck....I've always thought of you. If you were okay. How were you feeling.....but, who will ask me if I'm okay?

Because honestly, I'm only learning to live with the pain. And you, you only added to it."

"I was never supposed to be good for you right from the start."