The Scandal (Thomas Brodie Sangster)

Darth Duck

"Welcome... everyone to another Episode of Thomas and Y/n have taken to much of something and are now going to do something that's probably a bad idea" Y/n smiled as she sat in a mesh dress with a bright red and black bra and Thomas sat at the table beside her drinking vodka shirtless 

"Welcome to drunk food reviewing"

"Not what we are doing?"

"Aren't we?"

"No Thomas"

"Ohhh... what are we doing?" 

"Read the board Thomas"

"I can't... its over there. Read it to me y/n" he sighed laying on her shoulder 

"We are doing the video we have to age restrict? remember Thomas?"

"Ooooooooohhhh the sexy video?"

"Yes, the sexy video, that's why you don't have a shirt on"

"... Did I remove my shirt? or did you do that?"

"You did that"

"They why don't I remember."

"Because of the state you are in sugar cube" she laughs kissing his head and patting his hair 

"Can we get nuggets when we are done filming?" he whispered

"we have Nuggets? there on there way with the food bicycle man"

"Hurry Up food Man! I want tiny chicken  shapes!" he complained 

"I should probably get to the point?"

"Why? Sally will edit for us"

"We can't rely on sally"

"why not? I love sally, she had a great..... face" 

"Does she? Incase you can't notice. We are half drunk and also... kinda stoned. Maybe a little tiny bit"

"You're stoned! I'm just drunk!"

"We have had... between us. Three bottles of wine. a bottle of whiskey and half a bottle of vodka. and then like a teaspoon of weed"

"I think it was like a cup of weed"

"it was a small pot, i smoke it because Thomas brought it back for me from his holiday in Holland, He did not smoke any, However he was in the room when I did. so I think you have like a baby contact high" she says "don't do drugs kids... but we are adults. ish. Kinda. Legally we are adults."

"I know you are but what am I?"

"This is the issue is that Thomas is a weird childish person anyway, and then you get him drunk and he becomes like six but a six year old who just read what all the swear words are, and when he's high... yeah this is what happens he just becomes like a weird whatever this is"

"Fight me bittch! I am the king!"

"Yes Thomas, yes you are" she laughs cuddling him "You wanna know what we are doing today? Or do you wanna sober up a little bit?"

"Tiny sober? while you explain the thing we are doing" he says leaving a moment 

"We are reviewing weird sex toys I found online, Now if I sound way more together thats because I didn't drink as much becuase... I didn't want a repeat of the Barbie cake incident. and also because I think I have way more of a tolerance then Thomas does" she says as Thomas returned with a coffee "Better now?"

"Yes"

"Its the weed, that if fucking you up right now. it just makes me really calm and slow... you just fucking go off the bloody walls"