peppermint smiles

three.

travis

my head hurts from crying. i knew cooper would understand, but at the same time, i was so nervous about what he'd think. i missed my best friend. of course i had friends at my old school, but you could tell they weren't true friends. all they cared about was money and power. it was weird, going to a normal public school to a high-end private school. when i told them i came from a public school, they all laughed and thought i was joking. i knew i never fit in there.

"cooper?" i asked, looking at him still crying. "how's your family? is your mom still okay?" cooper never cried. i knew he only cried around me, but we were still in public. i don't know why he was being so vulnerable. i knew his mom was sick, she always has been, but since i asked him, he started crying even more. "she's not doing well, trav. her cancer came back. and this time it's terminal. it spread everywhere in her body. they said she only had six months to live, and that was three months ago. she's getting weaker, and even skinnier than she already was. my dad has to work two jobs, and my brother is working all the time while being a college student, too. i have to get a scholarship to go to college if i want to go. i joined the football team, and found out i had a natural talent for it. now i'm the quarterback on the varsity team, and i've been since sophomore year. it's the only way i can go to college." he looked up to me with teary eyes. i wipe them away, and brush his hair back. i can tell this is his first time crying in a while. "do- do you wanna get out of here?" he asked, stammering over his words. i nod my head. he stands up, brushing himself off and wiping his tears away. he grabs his car keys and my arm, pulling me towards the student parking lot.

when we get to his car, he turns off the radio. we just sit in silence. the only noise there is are sniffles coming from the both of us. we both weren't doing good, but at least we had each other again. "do you wanna drive to the park?" cooper breaks the silence. his car smells like weed, sweat, and a pathetic air freshener trying to cover the smell. it doesn't work very well. i nod my head and cooper starts driving. he finally turns the radio back on. a joji song comes on. we just sit in silence, listening to the music. cooper taps the steering wheel to the beat. i can tell the music is cheering him up.

we get to the park. cooper takes out his pen and starts hitting it. high on a tuesday at 12:30? what has cooper become?
"do you want a hit?" i nod, but i only take a small hit. i don't want to get too high, especially if i have to go home around 3. my mom can't know i skipped my first day.

"so cooper, do you have a girlfriend?" cooper has always been a ladies' man. he had several 'girlfriends' throughout elementary, and even got 'married' to one in third grade. i was the person who married them. i giggle, thinking back to that memory.
"no, i'm kinda just single right now. i hook up with girls, i guess, but nothing is official. i haven't had a girlfriend since 7th grade, but we broke up freshman year." two years is a long time, especially for cooper. he's always had commitment issues. with friends, girls, everything. the only person he seemed to have consistency with was me. "oh. i haven't dated anyone either. the people at my old school were super judgmental, so i didn't come out to anyone." i scratch my nose. cooper is observing me. i hear him chuckle. at least his mood is getting better.

we sit there in silence for a while more before cooper pulls out his phone and starts playing music. he asks for my number. i put it in his phone and send myself a text.

[new number]
hi! :)

from: travis
hey (:

i quickly change the name to coopie and take a picture of him. you can tell he's high, but it's okay. nobody looks through my phone anyways. he grabs his phone and takes a picture of me. i smile lightly and throw up peace signs. i hate taking pictures of myself. they always make me feel insecure. but having cooper take pictures of me weirdly didn't make me feel bad about myself. i really did miss my best friend.

we then got up and started walking around the park. we sat on the swings and laughed at random things, telling stories of what happened after i left. everything felt normal for once. i missed my cooper. and you could surely tell he missed me. he lay his head on my lap and we looked at the clouds. it was a warm september day in socal. the sun was resting on cooper's cheeks, and watching the blue-eyed boy stare at the clouds made me blush a little bit. i had always had a little crush on cooper, but nothing big enough to ruin our friendship. i'd rather be hopelessly in love with him and only have him as a friend than ruin our friendship and not even be close at all. it was a sacrifice i knew i had to make. i think he could tell i had a crush on him for a while, but i never told him. i think he thought i stopped. i don't think i ever did, but that's okay. sometimes you have to make compromises.

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