The Same Bed

Chapter 5

They sat in the bathroom without a word while Y/N pulled the glass from his palm. The occasional flinch would draw her attention up to his face. His eyes were half-closed all cockiness washed away. This was the Dean no one else got to see. The Dean that was allowed to feel pain even if from the comparatively small cuts on his hand though to anyone else they were considered bad and warranted a visit to the hospitable for stitches. This Dean didn't use all his energy blocking out natural reaction to stimulus or emotions. This was Y/Ns Dean.

Y/N was delicate as one could be when removing glass from an open wound. She cleaned his lacerations with alcohol holding it over the sink as the reddened liquid pooled in his palm and streamed along his skin, dripping off the back of his hand. She rinsed off his hand and dried it before taking a bandage wrap from the kit and spinning it around his hand. Tapping the ends securely, she looked up at him. Y/N cupped his face urging him to look at her but as a result, Dean squeezed his eyes shut leaning into her hold, before pulling away avoiding her gaze.

"We should go to bed." Dean nodded acknowledging her whisper. She followed Dean back to his room. He picked up the glass on the floor and nightstand as she watched him from the doorway. She took a step forward.

"You can't stay here." Y/N scoffed as Dean hardly even glanced over his shoulder moving the glass into the little garbage can next to the nightstand.

"Why the hell not? I don't care how much you hate me, Dean, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't hate you..."

"Seriously? You can't even look at me god damn it! Dean what have I done to you other than support you! I don't deserve this! You kick me out! You ignore me! You have no right to treat me this way! I helped with your nightmares! With anything you asked me to and even when you don't ask me to, I'm there for you Dean! I deserve an explanation! That's the very least I deserve!" Dean spun around quick as a wink. He's been expecting this but nonetheless hoped they'd manage to avoid it. He had scripted what he'd say though apparently, he subconsciously knew what he truly wanted to say because given the opportunity he went off.

"Because I fell in love with you! I was better off pushing you away and hurting you myself than risk losing you because I was too caught up with loving you. To get distracted and miss something on a hunt! Or have some demon take you and hurt you to get to me! I had to push you away because I fell in love with you!"

"That makes two of us Dean! You think you're the only one with feelings! You really think pushing me away is going to stop me from getting hurt!? And you're hardly careless enough to miss something on a hunt because you were distracted by me! Also, how dare you blame me for that Dean, what you're saying is utter bullshit! God, I just want to punch you right now, knock a little sense in into that brain of yours, you're being so stupid! You're also not the only one with enemies! I've killed countless demons! Maybe you'll be the one taken and tortured to get to me huh! Ever think of that! I'm not asking for a goddamn marriage proposal Dean! I want my friend back! I want you back Dean you have no idea how much I miss you!"

"'That makes two of us?' You're in love with me too?" Dean was looking down at his aching palm, holding it in his healthy hand.

"Did you completely ignore everything I just said after that?"

"No, no I heard you, and you're right. I have no excuse for the way I treated you and you do deserve better. And God did I miss you too. I'm really, truly sorry."

"Good, you should be." He could hear the smile on her lips before he looked up to see it. "That's the most ridiculous reason I've ever heard for pushing someone away by the way."