Truly Madly Deeply

I

A lot can happen during a lifetime. It can be good or bad!

My aunt used to say that Mami was a little ambitious when she was a teenager. Every time she asks me about my plans, I say, "I don't know."

Since that was my god-legit truth.

There is nothing that says 'like a mother, like a daughter!' between us.

We both were poles apart.

When I liked to write and read books, Mami wanted to paint. When she wanted to do finance and management, I wanted to do literature and music. That is, we had many different opinions.

You must have noticed that I used past tense here.

Since I'm remaining close to the pit where Mami will cover after the burial service.

I didn't want to see my Mami's lifeless face, and that's why I am not at the funeral home.

I never thought yesterday would be the last time Mami and I get into a pillow fight.

What a sudden and unexpected blow this was, how life could change in an instant.

She was happy and laughing by clutching her stomach.

I only want that as my Mother's last memory. I can't believe suddenly what everything just turned to.

I had promised her; today I would decide on my college.

As you can see, I couldn't know her decision.

I'll never know it anymore.

I felt my tears rolled down to my cheek. It's just unfair to take her this early. We still have to do more things together as a mother and daughter.

After my father's death, she never remarried for my sake. She was an independent woman. She wanted to make a ground for her, without standing on anyone else's.

After many hurdles crossed, she made a reputation for herself. She builds her own company 'Lauren's and Parker's,' a Publishing House for authors.

It amused me when the first time she told me the idea.

She said, "It's for my princess."

Even though she doesn't like the idea of me choosing literature over finance, she did what she can do for me.

After years of hard-working, she made her company one of the Top Best Publishing House in the USA.

She never goes alone in Galas. She will take me as her date (which she says), even though people judged her for bringing me, she didn't give a flying fuck. Some lame millionaires would flirt with her, but she flips a bird over them asking about their work.

The pain she went through, the way people doubt her confidence as being a woman without a man's help, blames her as bitch, and writes stupid things on Mami in tabloids for the rating...

It always hurt me and made me mad...

But they didn't know how Mami was after my Dada left us.

She was a wreck.

I know Mami loved Dada for her dearest life.

When I was six years old, Dada had to attend a meeting in London. That day when Mami came back dropping him at the airport, her eyes were red, and her whole face was wet. She was crying for the entire drive. I told her, "Dada will be back in a few days, so no crying." She said, "Even if it just a few days, it feels like an eternity, honey" with that, she hugs me closer.

No one there for her when she was fighting to live in this world.

I have always seen her with a happy face, even though she was stressed inside out. I am proud of my Mami and proud of being her daughter.

I rubbed my eyes and saw my dad's grave. 

'David Avens Kingsley'

 My father was a man of his own league. He worked his ass off all the time to bring the two ends together. He was a number man himself.

No doubt, my mother fell for him.

He liked what he was doing. He never complained about his work or anything. And he loved to taunt Mami.

They always fight like two best friends. At the end of their fight, Dada says some sexual joke in front of me accidentally. She was like, "Oh, for god sake, Dave, could you just stop saying that in front of the kid?" And Dada was like, "Oh, Come on! It's not like she won't even know that word. She eventually knows. Why the hell we let her learn from somebody else?" he says, winking at me, and I would be smiling at him.

They both will be rest in peace down to the earth now.

I wiped my tears, looking at his grave. 

I know what he thinks, 'you are safe from the devil now'!

I smiled at the thought. My father always says something funny, even though the situation is worse than ever. I am thankful to myself for keeping that part of his alive for so long.

Losing dad in childhood was a pain. I used to...

My phone started ringing suddenly, waking me from my thoughts.

It was Aunt Susan.

She is my Mami's sister. Currently, she's my only family. I picked the phone, wiping my tears. "Yes, San"

"Are you alright?" that was her first question.

"Hmm... I guess I will," I sighed.

"Don't stress upon you too much, honey," she was crying. I could hear it from her voice breaking. "I just called to say that we are leaving the house with Lauren. If you want to see her the last time, you can come to the cemetery." She said

"I am already here. But I am going now. I can't see her face, San. I am not ready....," my voice broke. Shit! I can't be like this. I have to be healthy.

"Parker?"

"I'm here...I am not ready to see her now, San. I've her last memory with me, and I'm happy with that. Don't worry about me. I will be home after everything ends. And tell Mami that I'll miss her. Bye," I hung up without hearing her response.

I never thought in my life that my parents leave me alone like this. I always wanted to live my entire life with them. I know, at a particular time comes people have to go. But this early? Both of them?  That was un-fucking-fair.

I looked at the grave for the final time and turned to where my car parked. I got inside the car and took a deep breath.  I started the engine and drove through the valley without an aim to where.