My Funny Stories

Peanut In an Elevator

Okay so this is one of my favorites. The above picture is SCP-173.

The other day, I and 3 of my friends were browsing steam and we found a game. This game was free and it was called "SCP: Secret Laboratory". This game had been out for a long while, and IDK how I didn't know of it since I'm a BIG SCP fan. So either way skip forward a few hours, and I am a Class-D personnel running from a SCP-173 and SCP-096, otherwise known as Peanut and Shy Guy. 

Now I am running through heavy containment, trying desperately to get away from Peanut and 096, and since they are right behind me, the second I see an open elevator, I went right into that shit. Little did I know that the elevator I had gone into lead into the Alpha Warhead Silo. Now this wouldn't normally be a problem right? Well guess what. The room was a one way entrance/exit and the only way in/out was the elevator that I had just gone through. 

So not knowing this, I leave the elevator and the second that I leave I hear a ding behind me and I notice my mistake. Oh shit. Im trapped, and peanut is now coming up the elevator behind me. So I start thinking as fast as I physically could to try to survive, literal FEAR fueling my brain to think quicker. I then realize that the elevators don't have much of a cooldown to closing the doors again from when they open. 

So there I am pressing the push to talk button, screaming "NO PEANUT PLEASE!! DON'T DO IT TO ME! IM BEGGING YOU! SPARE MY LIFE AND I WILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING!" To which I hear the peanut promptly respond with "Haha no bitch!". Funny shit I tell ya, should've been there to hear it. Then I suddenly have a moment of clarification in my mind, and I realize. I'm Fucked. Peanut in this game can't move if someone is looking at it, which is good right? Wrong. Peanut has this one skill/attack/thingy that allows him to flick the lights off to move for a second. 

As I am thinking this, realizing the truth of the situation, I see the elevator coming back up. And what do you know, the peanut uses the fucking light blink, as I call it. So the second I notice the lights go out, I sprint into the elevator, the door barely closing the door behind me to separate me from peanut.

You thought this was over right? Sike bitch.

The elevator opens and there's a fucking 939 right In front of me. The dog SCP is now sitting in front of me, waiting to eat my ass alive. So I sprint past it, JUST BARELY SURVIVING with 30% HP left.

So I take a left and I am met with my worst enemy on the Heavy containment sector. The tesla gates. These things are like the fucking Hitler of this game. Those bitches kill everyone and everything if you mistime your move. They deal 100% of non-SCP health. This makes it a complete bitch to navigate the Heavy Containment, as I suck at timing anything.

So with a dog and Peanut on my ass, and adrenaline coursing through me, I manage to time it right and get through it. Only to be met with the Heavy-Entrance checkpoint that I needed to escape. So I take out my keycard and get through it, effectively putting some decent distance between me , peanut, and the dog.

I then take the route that I know of to escape and I hear the MTF spawn. My. Fucking . Savior. I then take a turn and what is my luck? In front of the elevator is the one thing that could very well end my run right there as I know it.

Remember the 096 or Shy Guy as I said earlier? Yeah there he is, right there in front of the elevator that would lead to my escape. So he sees me and I run the opposite direction, jukeing the shit out of Dog and peanut who were right behind me. During this I'm yelling into proximity chat: "Get fucked Emo Kid, Dogshit, and Nutfuck!" as they were my nicknames for them that I had just come up with. Emo kid was Shy Guy, as he was constantly crying and if you looked at his face, you died. Dogshit is self explanatory, and Nutfuck? Well we can all see where that came from.

I then hear the loud speaker announcing its "Holiday Haters" bullshit, then a few seconds realizing that had meant that the MTF had finished loading and would be there any second. I then manage to get past 096 and get into the elevator. 

I then exit the elevator, feeling relived, as it was a non KOS server, meaning that I could not be killed by the MTF. I then exit while yelling "FREEDOM FUCKERS!".....

Some newbie bitch didn't read the giant fucking "NO KOS" Sign on the server every time you join. I had lived through literally hell to survive and win, just to get illegally KOSed by some dumbfuck who didn't read the rules. 

Dude that shit was simultaneously the most disappointing and best moment of my entire life.