The Smile Has Left Your Eyes

Chapter Nine

Aspen

Although it wasn't the first time Rafe had been away, it felt odd not seeing him. Just six days had me recognizing my unhealthy dependency, but I had no one else. I didn't really have any other friends, especially not now. I missed Rafe, and I craved a type of comfort from him I knew I'd never be able to get, even just as friends. I needed someone to tell me it'd all be okay; I wouldn't believe them, but hearing it would still be nice. But more than that, I needed to know where he stood. Was he still mad at me from after the game last Tuesday? What did he mean when he'd said those things on Devin's story? And what about the fact that I was gay? What would he do with that? He probably didn't know yet since his phone was broken and he'd left before I accidentally outed myself. I wondered how he was going to figure it out. Or who else knew. Just Isabella? The entire baseball team? The whole school, perhaps?

I switched into a different long-sleeved shirt; the white fabric was tighter than I would've preferred, but my options were limited. I pulled out grey sweatpants and slid on the black hoodie and Vans. I was counting on the dark wardrobe to conceal the nearly-as-dark bruises on my face.

I hadn't planned on going to school today, since my ribs had begun to feel worse over the past couple of days, but I received a call from the assistant coach this morning telling me that Coach Gale wanted to have a brief conversation with me. He sounded pessimistic and unhappy. Maybe I was in trouble for skipping three days' worth of classes last week and hadn't bothered showing up today either.

I didn't leave until the last block period had finished to avoid running into as many people as I could.

I paid the manager, adding another twenty-four hours to my stay. I was already low on cash between scattered and sparse meals on top of the motel cost.

It took over an hour to walk to school. I was awkwardly hunched over the entire time, wheezing with every breath.

Here we go.

I hobbled through the front double doors with my hood up and covering a large portion of my face. Expecting students to turn to me and peer in disgust, confusion swept over me when everyone kept their eyes down, most scurrying out the doors. It was a Monday after all, and those who didn't have after-school activities tended to leave as quickly as they could. I avoided the spot where my friends met up after classes, just to be safe.

Not sure if Coach Gale was on the baseball field or in his office, I decided to call him so I wouldn't have to walk the extra mile. I held my phone to my ear as I awkwardly leaned against a random student's locker before he finally picked up. "Coach Gale?"

"Ah, yes. Hi, Aspen. Could you come see me in my office? We need to talk about something." His voice was serious and caused a slight panic in my mind.

"Right... what's going on?"

"Let's discuss this matter in person." The line went dead.

I struggled to pull myself off the wall, my right hand firmly placed near the bottom of my rib cage and my back hunched. I stumbled a bit, trying to take my first step. The world was fuzzy and a little dark. I focused on the ground and shook my head back and forth in hopes that I wouldn't faint. I blew out a puff of air and plodded my way to the back of the gym. My pace was excruciatingly slow and anyone walking the same direction passed me.

"Aspen!" My head shot up when Amelia shouted my name.

"Heyyy," I drew my words out. I'd hoped I could avoid her.

"Have you talked to Rafe yet?" she asked. The way her soft waves framed her face complemented her large green eyes; she looked rather bright for someone who just went through a breakup.