Bonus Chapter #3

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I've never really liked this holiday, but it's as good a time as any to reflect

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I've never really liked this holiday, but it's as good a time as any to reflect. Another year finished, and another semester of my PhD—which was extremely hard but also super rewarding—completed. I'm relieved that Taylor, Angela, and Lawson agreed to have a low-key New Year's Eve in Taylor's condo, because I don't want to go out in the dark in this weather. It's freezing and I just want to be cozy. Besides, I've never been a fan of crowds. That hasn't changed.

But some things have. Taylor's apartment has become my favourite place because I swear I've never felt more elated than when Taylor's large, tattooed body is pinning mine to his bed, and he's moving in and out of me with enough heat and force to make us both moan and sweat. He's been on his knees in front of me and I've been in front of him, our chests pressed together as I rock back and forth. I'm in his bedroom when I'm stressed with school, when I'm horny because my period is starting the next week, and when I just want to be with Taylor Hudson.

Heat flushed my cheeks at the memories and Taylor noticed, and winked.

"Signal!" Angela yelled. "Yes, we won!"

We're playing some card game, and Taylor and I have won both rounds so far. Lawson high-fived his girlfriend, thinking that they caught our signal.

"Not so fast," Taylor said. "That wasn't our signal."

"So actually, you guys lose!" I smiled, playfully rubbing Ang's shoulder.

Angela cursed, complained about Lawson's poor card playing skills, and got up to grab more snacks from the kitchen. She came back with her hands full of crinkly bags full of sugar, salt, and fat.

"Here, Camille, here are your candies. I just knew you'd bring them," she said, tossing me the familiar package.

My heart swelled in my chest. I hadn't brought those. He remembered. After all this time, he remembered. I'm suddenly too shy to make eye contact with him, so I just open the bag and pass it around.

"Okay, guys, I'm starving," Lawson said for the tenth time in the past hour. "I'm going to go pick up our food now. Ang, you coming?"

We had placed our order for a local Italian place earlier in the day, opting for take-out instead of dine in. It was the same place Taylor had taken me to when I first visited him here in Toronto.

The door to Taylor's condo shut, signalling that Lawson and Angela had left. Taylor and I continued to sit on the carpeted floor.

"So," Taylor began.

"So."

"How are you liking Toronto?" he asked, a wink in his voice.

I shook my head at him in amusement.

"It's good. School is going well. I like the people."

"Happy to hear it."

My mouth had opened but just as words were about to come out, things went black. I shuddered.

"Shit, the power's out," Taylor stated the obvious.

I wasn't surprised. It was quite the storm outside.

"Do you have any flashlights or candles?" I asked.

"Um, I don't think so? The only candles I have are the ones you brought over. Let me light them."

"Careful," I warned.

The sound of Taylor shuffling around filled the apartment as he used the light on his phone to navigate. The living area smelled like balsam and sage now. I loved it. Taylor approached me with a blanket in his arms.

"Stand up," he said gently.

I let him lead me to his couch and guide my body so that I was straddling him. He wrapped the blanket around my body and pulled me closer to him. His hands were under my body, massaging my lower back.

"You warm enough?"

"Mmm hmm."

We sat there in the dark silence for a few moments, just his large and slightly rough hands gently caressing my body. I sighed deeper into his chest, inhaled his scent, and marvelled at the fact that things felt so right.

We had been here before, I realized.

"Do you remember the New Year's Eve we spent together in Pasadena?" Taylor asked, his lips in my hair.

"I was just thinking about that, actually."

"Yeah?" Taylor sounded surprised. "What about it?"

"How much I enjoyed that night. Being there with you." I paused. "It was also the night I realized I was in love with you."

Taylor's body stilled and then softened. He held me tighter, if that was possible. If being here with Taylor in this way is home, then what does that say about my feelings? I peered up at him, curious and afraid to see his reaction.

"Camille, I'm sorry I'm two years too late, but I love you. I'm in love with you."

His voice was so sure and pure that it nearly knocked the wind out of me. Because this is something that I once waited so long to hear, once thought I didn't want to hear, but now realized that I need to hear it.

"I love you too, Taylor."

His eyes sparkled in the dark, now that my eyes had adjusted and could see him.

"I always have," I admitted.

"I think I have as well. I was just too young and stupid to see it."

I placed my hand on his chest, over his heart.

"I was both those things at one point as well."

Taylor laughed softly. "Doubt it. I'm sorry I put you through hell."

I sighed. "I don't regret the storm. It brought us here."


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