smitten for the underdog

costume day [tj's pov]

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　

"Nah, I'm set," I said, pretty matter-of-factly, because I was in fact set. Even if Kira's costume idea was ten times better than Cyrus and I's, why would I have wanted to do it with her anyway? It's not like we really hung out or anything. And I already had my whole 'summer' part of the costume set aside for tomorrow. I couldn't wait, even if it was ridiculous. It didn't matter that no one would understand the joke. All that mattered was that we did, and it was pretty funny.

"So you'd rather do a costume with Cyrus than with me," Kira stated bitterly through an obviously fake smile. Something about the way she said it made me feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

"Okay, have fun with that," she said sarcastically, and stood up to head off. I could feel her smile disappear as soon as she turned around and walked away.

I froze and felt my heart-rate increase while I remained where I was on the bench.

She knew.

What exactly she knew? I didn't really know myself- not exactly anyway.

I thought it would just go away or something, that it was only a thought and not actually anything to think about. But I couldn't stop thinking about it.

I couldn't stop thinking about him.

Obviously I would rather do a costume with Cy, and of course that's something unusual to anyone who has eyes. The thought had never crossed my mind before. There's no way that people wouldn't start talking- especially if Kira was already thinking it. She didn't even have to say explicitly what she was thinking, and it was obvious she wasn't too keen on it.

But, how many other people were thinking the same thing?

If she was, then others must be too.

How could I be so stupid? Talking about him constantly, finding any way I could to be closer to him. He's the only person I have ever known who made me feel like I could open up to them, and there's no judgment. He's the kindest, most hilarious, and people (including himself) clearly underestimate the things he can do, and that drives me insane.

But that's normal, right? All those feelings? We're just good friends. He's my best friend, and I wanted to do a costume with him, so why should it matter what anyone else thought?

But it's not normal, is it?

It's way more than just that, and I can't explain it. I would try, but that would be even more confusing, and I'm not sure I want to.

My thoughts were interrupted when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out, and my stomach did flips at my screen- I had made my background the picture I took of Cyrus on my dirt bike.

I smiled a little at the text. It was Cyrus checking in. Apparently I had missed his first message.

underdog: i got my costume ready! :D

underdog: you still shootin some hOops? wanna hang?

I sighed slightly before responding. I couldn't tell him I was having second thoughts about the costume. How could I possibly do that without explaining why? There's no way he'd understand, and I did not want to ruin everything again.

Actually, I lied. Out of all people, Cyrus would understand this. But I couldn't tell him, and it killed me.

And if I did hang out with him, there's no way I could turn back on the costume. One look at him and that would be it- any common sense I had would go right out the door. I had to be safe, for both of us, really. I didn't want anyone picking on him either, all because of me.