Permission to love - The Rogue Pack

Chapter 24 - Tayanita

"Sam, darling, is there is something you maybe forgot to mention?"

At Béa's words, I'm snapped out of my reverie as I glance over at my mate. Her eyes are slightly darker than usual, her pupils fully dilated. But that's not what catches my attention. It's the fact that it's Aiden's hand on her leg that has made her have this reaction. It's the fact that just touching him has brought out in her a desire to have sex.

Almost instinctively, I rush from the kitchen, refusing to look behind. I half expect Sam to follow, or at least call after me, and when she doesn't I'm both relieved and offended.

'Does she prefer Aiden? Is she choosing him over me? Stop being ridiculous!' I goad myself. She obviously thought I needed some time alone, and to be honest, I appreciate it.

"Mate..." Evie whines in my head, trying to get me to turn around and go back to her. It's the first time she's spoken to me since we met Sam in the cells. She's always been a chatterbox, a comfort during those lonely years in the cells. But something about Sam shocked her into silence.

I hate myself for declining the only request she has made of me since then but I need some time to myself.

"Later Evie, I promise."

I don't pay attention to where my feet take me, only glancing up when I feel soft dirt under my shoes. I'm outside, at the back of the house. In front of me, a large forest expands as far as the eye can see, and I feel a sense of calm overwhelm me as I see the comforting sign of nature. I've always loved the outdoors, it's been a safe space ever since I realised that people don't tend to like me, and that people tend to congregate indoors.

I wander aimlessly, mind focusing only on my surroundings. Through the brush, I spot a log lying on its side and move over. I softly caress the rough bark, the sensation sending tingles through my pale fingertips. Suddenly, the emotions from the past few days catch up to me, and I collapse onto the floor, burying my side into the log, searching for comfort.

Seeing Aiden's hand on Sam's leg brought back a whirlwind of emotions that I've been suppressing for years. I struggle to gain control over my emotions, but I can't. I fall asleep, curled up next to the log. Flashes of memories burn themselves into my nightmares.

A hand on my thigh... being shoved mercilessly against the ground... his disgusting breath against my skin... his words that drip in hatred and repulsive desire... my body jerking against the wall as he takes what he wants from my lifeless form... Evie trying desperately to claw her way to the surface, trying desperately to protect me.

A sudden voice snaps me out of the nightmare.

"Tay?" It's him. My eyes fly open, immediately spotting Aiden at the edge of the clearing. His eyes are questioning, uncertain of himself.

"I don't... I can't..." I gasp out, unable to form a sentence. I'm suddenly scared of him, scared of what he could do to me.

Aiden slowly moves forward, as if I'm an animal he's afraid of startling, and to an extent he's right. But I flinch when he reaches a hand down. I know he only wants to help me up, but I can't help the part of me that wants to cower away.

Taking the sign, Aiden shifts to the log, sitting an appropriate distance away. He stays silent, waiting for me to stand, which I eventually do. Turning to him, my eyes must have filled with doubt.

"I'm not going to hurt you!" He exclaims, obviously surprised by my reactions. I nod, not detecting a lie in his words, and wanting to trust him. I move to sit beside him. Resting on the log with my feet just barely touching the ground, my body always ready to run.