The Words Inside My Head

Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
     Mom I know this may be hard to hear but the day you brought me into this world and the contractions stopped, you had to go into surgery to have me, you should have known that I didn't even want to be in this world before I took my first breath.     
     You should have known that our family mental problems would be passed down to me. As I grew I repeatedly asked for a therapist, you should have known that something was wrong.
     You ignored everything and you told me that past trauma I have was nothing and that I didn't know what depression was just because of my age.
     Mom you should have known that yelling at me about how I need to try harder even though I try my hardest just for your pride would mess me up beyond belief.
     When you were done you'd smile at me when I started crying and ask me why n hug me n tell me how proud you were of me when a minute later you were yelling about how you weren't.
     You want me to hide that I'm bi just to make dad happy because he can't and won't accept the fact that his little girl likes girls.
    You and dad both degrade being transgender while you know, but dad doesn't, that your little girl doesn't know her gender and all she knows is that she can be called anything and be happy as long as she is seen as her.
     So I'm sorry mom but I can't be the child you want no matter how hard I try.