I saw you before you saw me. That was always the case anyway. You always pulled my attention regardless of where you were. You walked into the room and I need not have seen you for a current to run through my body for me to know you were near.
Everything would become a blur, smudge of some sort and the only thing that would be clear would be you, your movements, your expressions, you.
You never came close to me and I never tried getting close to you because I loved watching you from a distance. Feeding my fantasies with the little new things I learnt every day.
Today, though, you saw me. I was seated on my usual spot and you turned and looked straight at me. I tried to look away but I couldn’t. Like a magnet, your gaze held me in place. I couldn't blink, couldn’t move and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I wondered for a second if you had seen me watching
you, if you had found me out.
Just as I was gathering my wits to look away, you started walking towards me, your gaze still rooting me to the spot. I felt vulnerable. You made me feel naked, exposed, though I was fully clothed. As
you got closer a whiff of your cologne flitted into my nose for the first time. My pulse quickened and my palms became sweaty. The scent of you continued to envelope me as you got closer and I almost passed out from the intoxicating scent not because it was particularly unique, but because it came from you.
Standing in front of me, gesturing to the seat next to me, you spoke. I tried to hear what it was you said but my senses were fully occupied. My sight transfixed to yours, it being the first time I was
seeing them up close, my nose dancing and rejoicing from being bathed in your scent, my ears filled with the rapid beats of my own heart and my skin hyperaware of the heat radiating from your body so close to me.
Speaking again, you placed your hand on my shoulder. My eyes managed to move from your chocolate-coloured eyes to your lips and I found myself thinking how it would feel to kiss them. Feel them against my own. Images of you and I, sweaty and groaning crossed my mind and for a minute I let myself dwell in the what if.
“pardon what did you say?" I managed to whisper hoping that you wouldn’t hear me so that you would be forced to lean in closer.
“I asked if this seat was taken, “you said, smiling of course. You were always smiling.
“uhm....no..no it isn't. I'm sorry I spaced out,” I added more confidently hoping to prolong the conversation a little longer.
Whispering a polite ‘thank you and it’s okay’ you grabbed the seat and walked away, towards your spot. My efforts to keep you next to me longer proving futile.
I had a mind to follow you and ask if you wanted to seat together but I knew I couldn’t, well not yet anyway. I had to buy time before I came to you properly. Till then, I guess I had to live with you in my fantasies.
