Not like the others... Revenant x Brave!Strong!Short!Rude!Reader

Chapter 15

Trigger Warning: Suicidal thoughts and attempted suicide.

Why...

Why can't I just die already?

The simulacrum desired a final death. He had been "alive" for more than 288 years. He found every second to be pure agony. And everytime he "died," it was not permanent. He was stuck in his own hell. One which he could never escape. Though perhaps, after causing so many people pain, maybe this was his punishment...

Revenant considered killing himself again. It always felt like a peaceful moment to him, as though he would finally be set free. Even if he didn't die, Revenant would feel like it might be his last moment.

But would it be worth it? No, as he would return again, and again, and NEVER die.

The synthetic nightmare resented the gift of death for humans. Their souls could be put to rest. They can die forever. He never will.

And Loba? She was supposed to end his life. But instead, she wanted the simulacrum to suffer. The thief sent his source code to another planet, and he will never get it back. The "girlie" as Revenant would put it, took away his only chance of eternal death. And he hated her. Revenant would hate her forever.

What reason did he have to live?

There was only one...

(Y/N)...

They brought color into his depressing life. He felt emotions that he wasn't able to feel for centuries.

Over the past few months, Revenant bonded closer to (Y/N). He never officially called (Y/N) his friend, or was obviously nice to them, but he give subtle hints that he cared. He really did have feelings for the adorable, and most notably short, legend.

Of course if (Y/N) was not alive, Revenant would still continue to killing, but other than his friend Pathfinder, what else is there?

He could still remember looking in the mirror that day, seeing his own skinsuit, what he thought he was for so long. And then glitching into the true monster he has been the whole time.

He could even almost remember his past life as a human, before turning into a simulacrum. The vivid memories he never forgot.

The taste of blood in his mouth. The open wounds that oozed blood. The dead victims. Every stab to his chest. Every scar on his body. Every death that was not his true end. Every nightmare he had of himself. The painful injuries he had to endure. The droplets of blood dripping off his knife. Every cry for help. The scream of his first target. The look of horror found on the witnessing skinsuit's faces. Tears streaming down his face, wishing he could die.

It was strange, because deep down, even when the simulacrum was a human, he...didn't appreciate being alive...

Nothing went away. And it was too painful for him to bear, but Revenant was forced to live with these past memories for eternity.

I'm doing it. I don't care if I come back. I just need to forget, even if for only a moment.

The simulacrum knew what to do. His vision went to his own knife, and he began stabbing into his chest. Cutting all essential wires, and damaging his systems. Even slicing the Hammond Robotics symbols on his robotic hands he completely loathed. And then stabbing into the middle of his chest.

Although he was unaware of his door opening in an instance.

"R-Revenant?" A voice spoke, along with a gasp coming from them.

It was (Y/N). They saw Revenant near his death. Oil leaked out of his circuits, and he was dying. Revenant felt immediate regret. He found a reason to live, but was going to lose it. He was going to lose (Y/N). They were running over to help the synthetic nightmare, until he stopped them.

"D-Don't try to-to hel-hel-help. There-There is n-no point...point. I'll be-be back in another-another...copy..." The nightmare had many errors in his voice due to his malfunctioning body. He would likely see them again in the future...even if it took years.

A single tear started to trickle down (Y/N)'s cheeks. They rushed to his aid. "Rev. Please. Don't do this."

Revenant uttered one last sentence, "I'm...sorry..."

It was too late. All programming within the mechanical body shut down, and he was dead.

It shattered (Y/N)'s heart to see the one they love die in front of their eyes.

It was pure pain to them. They could only cry, and nothing else.

Not for long, though.

(Y/N) remembered that Revenant doesn't die permanently. He will come back in another copy.

But would he remember anything?

They stood up, and left the nightmare's room, not saying a word.

(Y/N) was walking to their own room, until Loba got in their way.

"Stop right there, beautiful~" She flirted.

(Y/N) ignored her, which shocked Loba. The thief grabbed their arm. "Hey, I am talking to you!"

The short legend finally snapped. "ABOUT WHAT? ABOUT REVENANT? HE IS DEAD! HE KILLED HIMSELF IN FRONT OF ME! AND I KNOW HE WILL COME BACK, BUT WHAT ARE THE CHANCES THAT REVENANT WILL REMEMBER ME, HUH LOBA?!" They yelled at her.

Loba was taken by surprise. They...really do love him...

The lady was also surprised by Revenant's actions of him committing suicide that would not be permanent. It wouldn't get him any closer to dying forever.

"I don't see how you could love a demon like him." She scoffed.

(Y/N) was losing their last bit of patience. "I already snapped at you once. I recommend that you leave me alone, before I stab you in the throat..." They threatened the Brazillian woman.

Loba didn't appreciate the death threat, but decided to honor their request. "Fine then, (Y/N). But just remember that he deserves this..." Within seconds, she threw her bracelet, and teleported away.

(Y/N) took a deep breath. They thought they were alone, but someone else was behind them.

"Hi friend!" The voice greeted. It was Pathfinder!

(Y/N) waved at him without speaking. The MRVN seemed concerned with their attitude.

"Friend, are you okay? You look sad!" He exclaimed, worrying about his friend.

"I'm fine Pathy. Don't worry..." They assured the robot.

Pathfinder then beamed at an idea of his. "I know! We should hang out with Revenant!"

The upset legend wanted to cry. But they remained normal. "Um, Path? The thing is that Revenant..." They tried to explain to the innocent robot, but couldn't bring themself to tell Pathfinder that Revenant killed himself.

"He's taking a short break from the Apex games. Rev will be back, he just wanted to...not kill people who will respawn for a while." (Y/N) came up with a lie they hoped Pathfinder would believe.

The MRVN had a happy expression. "Okay! I can't wait to talk with him later!"

He soon left the scene, leaving (Y/N) alone once again.

This is my fault.