The Scandal (Thomas Brodie Sangster)

Play Time

"What the fuck has my Channel become?" Y/n asks behind the camera as Thomas sat in his tall actors chair with Newt written on the back of it, he leant on the table drinking from a bottle of cheap vodka 

"Us getting drunk and making poor decisions" He answers 

"Yes. It is" she laughs sitting beside him "Do you remember what w are doing?"

"no!"

"Why not?"

"You didn't tell me"
"Yes I did I text you"
"I only read up to come over and get drunk with me" 

"Okay so what happened is I went to a toy store and basically anything that was on the shelf that was like a mystery surprise thing I grabbed and now we are drunk and going to look at them" she explained 

"why drunk though?"

"Because I thought that we pretty much before children when we are drunk so... then we are the target audience" 

"Ages five and up. And very drunk adults" He laughs 

"Exactly" she smiled "how drunk are we?"

"Uhhh four beers, a bottle of rose, two little like travel whiskeys and this much of a vodka" He says showing the vodka bottle 

"wanna see what's first?" 

"Yes! Because I was told there was one bought especially for me?" 

"There is" she smiled grabbing something "first the things that infuriate me so very much" she says throwing a Lol ball across the table 

"Oohh these things that make you so very mad"

"they do, Becuase... Plastic waste" 

"did you just pick one at random or did you get like a witchy feeling about the one you picked?" he asks

"No I just grabbed one off the shelf and the lady at the till thought I was crazy for spending. No joke over fifty pounds in a toy store this morning"

"May I open it"

"you wanna open it?"

"I have been given a toy, I wanna open it. I don't like the mystery" He says 

"Okay Thomas you can open this one" she laughs 

after five minuets of destroying plastic there was a horrifying glittering doll

"I hate this so very much" He answered

"do you not like it?" 

"No, it's a naked child, with very inappropriate clothing I would not like a child wear this outfit, its glittery as all hell. the plastic make me so sad Because its so much waste for such a shit thing"

"and now you see why I hate them

"I do. I understand now and I will join you in this hatred"

"It is not dolphin friendly"

"No it is not! not dolphin friendly. and I don't wanna hurt the dolphins" 

"So out of five uuuhhh play times how many play times do you give it?"

"Minus one. it has angered me" He says

"Minus one. first one and we are already in the negatives"

"what's next?"

"Pokémon" 

"woo! Pokémon" 

"Its a little terrarium with a Pokémon in it and we don't know who we will get"

"who can we get?"

"Uhhh... Just the Eveelutions" she says

"Ohhh, awww they're so sleepy" He says "You can open this one. Because you will get more joy from this then I will"

"You know me so well Thomas" she smiled taking the box and ripping it open "See Japan! they understand the minimal plastic needed for these items" she explained

"You and fucking plastic. God damn hippie"

"You are also a hippie"

"I am, partly because I feel bad for the turtles and the dolphins and seals, you showed me that video of the turtle with the straw up his nose and I was just as hippie as you" 

"That video has turned so many people"

"It has, I had a sad time though" he says

"what happened? tell the story while I construct this toy"

"I went to a family wedding my cousin was getting married, and I ended up at some point sat chatting to my eldest cousins little girl, and she sat down with me in her little dress and she said 'Tommy do you know what the most eivl thing in the world is?"

"Ohhh child"

"Yeah, the thing is you have to be so careful when a child asks you that"

"Becuase your just like the things I could tell you little girl"

"The things you don't know"

"Ohh child you don't know"

"You don't know child. Ohhh baby there are things I could say to you that would ruin your whole life." He says "So obviously I said nothing and went No no what's the most evil thing" 

"what did she say?"

"she just looked me dead in the eye and said. Plastic" 

"Plastic?"

"Yeah, and she like sat talking to me for like a good twenty minuets about plastic waste, waste ending up in the oceans, seal life destruction, Massive company's polluting, Green house gases, fossil fuels, House hold carbon footprints" 

"... I wanna hang out with her"

"But all of this is coming out of a fucking adorable little blonde five year old, in this cute little pink flower girl dress"

"Why was she so mad? I mean I love the Ephusiamum and I adore that she's mad but... how did this happen?" 

"I don't know, but somehow she knows. and she is pissed."

"Little girl gonna come curb step a bitch if you don't think about the turtles" she laughs "Is this the same little girl who found out about Santa?"

"Yes!" 

"Ooohh I saw that. that was horrific. who was it who told her it was your uncle wasn't it?"

"Yeah, he let it slip one Christmas eve that Santa wasn't real and... he said that to a four year old."

"It didn't go well"

"Who did you get?"

"Normal Pre evolved eve"

"Awww that's cute though I like that." He smiled "Evee's sleeping on a little pillow"

"It is cute, I will point out this was the second cheapest thing today"

"I want more of these"

"They make more with like regular Pokémon, I've seen a bunch with like the various game starters"

"I could get a scorebunny"

"You could. You love that dam bunny"

"I do, he is my boy"

"I have not yet found one with cubchoo, But I did see a mimiku and I also love him"
"You do, because you feel bad for him"  

"Next before this is just a video of us looking at Pokémon"

"Yeah we should, what's next?"

"We have a tiny Minecraft figure" 

"Tiny Minecraft man, Or lady"

"Or animal. I just noticed there is animals too"

"Ooohh. Can I get a bee? I like the bee's?"

"No.. you can get a horse though"

"I don't wanna horse" he whines