The Seventh Sense is Love

Decisions

Meredith wakes up and feels disoriented for a moment. Then she smiles, realizing she's at Derek's but the smile quickly fades as she remembers they're suppose to talk. She had so hoped to never have a conversation with Derek about her leaving Seattle but he has a right to know the possibility exists.

"Hi," she says, as Derek walks into his room.

"You're awake. I was coming to check."

"I'm awake," she agrees with a sigh. "Derek..." she trails off as her heart plummets into her stomach.

"Mer," Derek starts, going to sit next to her on the bed. "Why would you have to leave me?"

She was looking down at her hands and whipped her head up to look at him in surprise. "I don't want to leave you Derek," she whispers, "but I may not have a choice."

"Why?" he whispers in return, worry evident in his voice as he takes her hand in his.

Meredith lays back on the bed and stares up at the ceiling. Derek lays back with her, holding her hand still, waiting for an answer. Finally Meredith says, "I haven't heard from Seattle Grace about my Fellowship."

Derek is quiet for a few moments and then he sighs hugely and laughs. He squeezes her hand and says, "This is about your Fellowship." He sits up again and runs his hands through his hair, "Thank God."

"Derek?" Meredith sits up next to him. "You sound relieved."

"Of course I'm relieved! Miranda said she overheard you and Lexie talking and that you didn't want to leave me but wouldn't tell me anything else. She said it was your place to tell me. Do you have any idea what I've been thinking for three hours? Christ!"

Meredith wraps her arms around Derek's shoulders and says, "I'm sorry you were so worried. I was going to talk to you about this after your shower but obviously I fell asleep. I've been accepted to Chicago and Los Angeles. I want to stay here but..."

"You need to make a decision."

"Yes. Cedars-Sinai only accepts two Fellows per twelve-month period. It's a great program and I'd rather not lose my spot there if I don't have one here."

"So it's Los Angeles," Derek states, sounding a little sad.

"Yes," Meredith sighs. "How much longer do you think I should wait to hear from Seattle Grace?"

"I don't think you should wait."

"What?" Meredith asks, completely surprised and feeling hurt at the same time.

"What I mean is, if you don't get your acceptance letter in the mail tomorrow, talk to Richard about it. He'll understand that you need to make a decision. It's your career Meredith, you have a right to know what programs you've been accepted to for your Fellowship."

"I agree, and it makes sense to talk to the Chief about it. Thank you."

"For the record, I want you to stay in Seattle," Derek says as he reaches up to stroke her cheek.

She rubs her cheek into his palm and says, "Hopefully I will."
*

Meredith wakes up to the feel of Derek nuzzling her neck and holding her body close to his. She feels warm, cozy and very content. "Good morning," she mumbles and rolls over to wrap her arms around him.

"Good morning," he replies and leans down to kiss her lips.

She tangles her legs with his and sighs, "I don't want to move from this spot."

"Then don't," Derek laughs. "Call in sick and we'll stay in bed all day."

"Oh sure," she giggles. "That would go over really well."

"Fine," Derek sighs in mock defeat, making her laugh some more. "I forgot to tell you that Miranda invited us to dinner tonight."

"What? You mean she invited you."

"No," he says, kissing her again. "She invited us. That's why she called last night."

"Oh. Well, I guess if she's okay with it then I am, too."

"Meredith, it's not a conflict of interest to have friends that you work with."

"It's just a little odd for me, Derek. Before Cristina, I never had friends at work. I just never saw any reason to mix my personal life with my professional life. Except for Lexie, obviously."

"Would you rather not go tonight? I haven't given her an answer yet."

Meredith looks at him and sees that he's completely sincere in leaving the decision up to her. "Tell her we'll be there," Meredith sighs. She kisses him quickly when he laughs. "You have to go to dinner at Molly's with me on Thursday night, though."

"No way," Derek says, shaking his head. "That's your sister's dinner night."

"Exactly," Meredith states. "Molly's pissed that Lexie met you and she didn't. She's called me every day this week to complain about it. I'm going to Bailey's tonight - so you're going to Molly's on Thursday."

"Okay," he grumbles.

Meredith laughs, kisses him and says, "I'm going to take a shower."

"Wait, there's something else I want to talk to you about."

Meredith glances at the clock and sees that she has plenty of time. She gets out of bed, goes to the closet for clean jeans and says, "Okay, what's up?"

He doesn't say anything for a few moments. Meredith frowns, feeling a little nervous. She goes back to the bed and puts her hand on his shoulder, "Derek? What do you want to talk to me about?"

He reaches up and threads their fingers together. He takes a deep breath and says, "If you go to Los Angeles for your Fellowship - I want to go with you."

"What?" Meredith asks, in complete shock.

"If you go to Los Angeles...."

"I heard you," she interrupts, sitting back down on the bed, still holding his hand. "It's just that... I mean... well... I'll be doing my Fellowship, Derek. I'm going to be insanely busy. The hospital is going to own me for a year. I couldn't ask you to go with me."

"You didn't ask me," he answers quietly. "I'm telling you I want to go, but if you don't want me to..."

"It's not that," she interrupts again. "I don't want to be away from you, but what kind of life would you have in L.A.? You've made a new life for yourself here. You have your work, your friends, your family. There's structure in your life here... structure that you need! I love you but I can't be the bitch that takes you away from what you need, Derek!"

He is squeezing her hand tightly but his voice is calm when he speaks. "Mer, I love you. You're correct that I need structure in my life, but I can arrange that anywhere. You have made my life so much better than it was before. You don't have to give me an answer now, but think about it. If you go to L.A. I want to go, too."

Meredith has tears in her eyes and she replies, "I never believed I was going to love someone the way I love you, Derek. If you're sure - then I don't need to think about it." She leans in and gives him a lingering kiss. "If I have to go to L.A. - we'll go together."

Derek grins, grabs her and kisses her until they're both breathless. Meredith breaks away and says, "I have to get ready for work."

"I know," he sighs, reluctantly releasing her.

Meredith goes to work feeling much better than she has all week. And she doesn't even want to try and erase the smile plastered on her face. She keeps wondering what she did right to find Derek and have him in her life.