I Didn't Realise

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Hey guys, what's up? I can't get into my DT meeting plus I've already done the work she set because she set the same thing last week. Anyway, this is short and sad (but I'm gonna include a happy ending because I can't deal with too much sad stuff right now. If you want a sad chapter, do not read past the Happy Ending Warning).

Sherlock's POV
"I mean, who leaves a wedding early?" Mrs Hudson's words rang in my head while I left my best friend's wedding early. I didn't see why I should stay, he hadn't chosen me, he had chosen to have an ordinary life with Mary. I guess this was the end of an era after all, especially with the baby. 

Walking away from the tent that the reception was being held in, I turned around to look at it one more time. I guess I was alone now again. John surely wouldn't want to continue working with me, he had his new life. He had no need for me. 

I went back to out- my flat. It seemed so... empty now. Not to mention quiet, horrendously quiet. Taking a look around, I suddenly felt very small. How was I going to do this without John? What was I supposed to do without John. 

Involuntary tears began running down my face as I began to sob. Without John, there was no purpose for my life. 

I retreieved my phone from my pocket and went to my contacts. There was the name I was looking for, DI Lestrade. 

"I'm sorry, Greg. I didn't realise how much your divorce must have hurt you, if your pain was anything like this - SH"

I sent the message. It hurt so much to be here without the man that I had grown to love and need. I really hadn't realised how much pain he must have been much have been in when his wife divorced him but if it was even anything near what this felt like, then I sympathised with him.

Even without John, I continued to do cases. It's not like my life revolved around him and everything he did, or at least that's what I tried to tell myself but I knew that was a lie. Of course I needed John. He had taught me how to feel again and then ripped my heart out without even knowing it. 

With John gone, I seemed to slip back into my old habits, smoking, going days without sleeping, and going days without eating. I knew what he would say but I honestly didn't care. It didn't matter, he wasn't here to tell me what he thought so his thoughts were irrelevant.

Cases kept on coming. I think Lestrade was giving me almost anything because he knew I was going crazy without my blogger. He also never brought up the message that I sent him the night of John's wedding, thankfully, though he did know what I had been talking about. He knew I was in love with John and that John hurt me. Stupid emotions took over then and I needed to ensure that wouldn't happen again. 

I hadn't seen John for a while, a few weeks at least, not since a couple of weeks after the baby was born, and I was on a case. It had been a difficult one to solve and had damn near driven me crazy but it hadn't and I had finally managed to solve it. We had finally tracked down the murdrer and I was now chasing him down an alley. Luckily, I managed to shoot him so he fell and wouldn't be able to move but he wouldn't die, if Lestrade and the idiots got here on time. 

Then it happened.

It had happened so quickly. 

Somehow, when he fell, he managed to twist himself around and shot me through the stomach. I fell against the wall and slid down it. My death was almost certain. There was such a slim chance that anyone would find me in time that I might as well have been dead.

Holding one hand to my wound, I fumbled around in my pockets until I found my phone. These were probably my last few minutes, why wouldn't I want to talk to the person who hd hurt me but who I loved so much?

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