Love Never Fails

Chapter 9: Dara

Silent.

I walk. Furious and silent. OK, maybe not furious. Annoyed. Angry annoyed. Very. But trying to keep it all in, knowing it will pass. At some point. That's all I can do right now, because otherwise I might spill way too many more beans than I want to. I have taken this for too long. Nothing I do is ever enough. And I'm frankly fed up. Always comparing, always disappointed. Ugh!

I get to a pedestrian crossing. A red man tells me to wait. You're nobody that should tell me what to do. I stop here because I want to, not because you tell me to. I cross my arms and wait as I see the cars passing in front of me. They're not fast -it's the city center, they simply can't be- but the road is packed and I don't need to risk finding myself under a bus because my sister makes every possible effort to take down my patience. Ugh!

I'm so focused on my own inner world that I don't realize that Nick has caught up my pace and is now standing next to me. Also in silence. Being gorgeous, of course. I give him a nod. He replies in kind. In silence. Just standing there, next to me, not serious nor smiling, with his hands in his pockets. Why is he just silent? Crap, I hope I haven't ruined this morning for him because of how absolutely annoying my sister is. Ugh!

Or maybe he's here to watch over me, replacing her. I very much prefer him to her, of course. But it also makes it more difficult to be mad. And I should be totally justified to be mad. This is making me madder. This is absurd. Ugh!

OK, I'll break the silence. "I'm sorry you had to see that," I say. After all he's not to blame for all the constant control of Sarah and my parents, and their inability to see that I'm a grown up person able to make my own choices. I will apologize for the effect I may have had on him, not for reacting as I did. It was perfectly justified, even if you can't see it, Nick. Or maybe you can. I wish you could. It would feel much less lonely here.

The man goes green and we start crossing.

"Hey, your sister can be annoying. I know." Is he just being condescending or does he really mean that? "For what I can see, even after this long she's just as I remember her. Bossy, nosey, subtle as a brick..." I chuckle, still annoyed. "We also had quite a few fights back in the day, she and I, you know?"

I let it sink a little. "Really? You and her? I don't see you as the fighting type."

"Oh yes. We used to be all the time together. And that meant fighting a lot together too. We were living so close... Once she sat with me to do some drawings in school. I think it was reception year. Anyway, she started drawing on my paper, saying my drawing was awful and it needed to be proper," he laughs. I chuckle again. She still used that word. "They sent a bad report home with me that day for pulling her hair, and I got punished for it. I had to walk over to their home and apologise in front of her and both of our parents. She really knew how to push my buttons."

"She's a natural," I smile. "I know."

"Oh, you bet, man. She is. But we always got back together. Like an elastic band. I missed her a lot once your family left. My parents didn't have the means to travel much, we didn't use to have holidays and all that, so... It felt like I was losing her forever."

He says that and now I'm feeling like such a bad person. I am so engrossed in my own world of self-validation that I can't see the bigger picture. I have a family that cares -too much, I give you that- for me. Nick has been losing family members all his life.

We cross another street and a big, open, green space opens up in front of us. I check my map quickly and put it in my back pocket. "This should be it," I say as we turn the corner.

"Wow," he says on seeing the view. It is indeed quite impressive, particularly seen from the little mirador we're standing at. It's right up a long marble staircase, overseeing a massive garden with big trees and bushes cut in squared maze shapes which surround a large square pool with a fountain in the middle. At the back, the garden becomes a forest with a green grass promenade, and to the side, the impressive Royal Palace stands overseeing it all. "This is beautiful," he says.