𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞.

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zak opened the front door with trembling hands. he was home in time, right? he shut it gently behind him before leaning back onto the smooth surface of it, screwing his eyes tightly shut. he took a deep breath in and then exhaled.

"don't worry, i like spending time with you."

he took more deep breaths. in, out. in, out. when his breathing was steady, he opened his eyes. he turned to look out of the window at the top of the door. the boy was long gone. well, probably at least a little ways down the street. he blinked.

he made his way further into the house and into the dining room, where his mother was setting out two plates and a pan of spaghetti. she looked up at the sound of his footsteps and said, "oh, zak, there you are. i was starting to think you wouldn't make it." she laughed lightly. he gave a halfhearted smile and took a seat across from where she was standing. "i made spaghetti," she said, even though she figured it was quite obvious. they began filling up their own plates.

"is dad working late again?" he asked, stirring his pasta around absentmindedly.

"yeah." she sighed. "i know he makes more if he stays later, but sometimes it's nice to have the whole family home for dinner." his gaze snapped up from his plate. a small smile played on her lips, and she sighed quietly. "i didn't forget about sam. she's just away at college, so she can't be with us."

he looked back down at his plate. there was no doubt that because he was the youngest, zak's parents tended to...coddle him? he didn't know if he would say that, but they definitely seemed to pay closer attention to him than to his older sister. it didn't help that he had his...issues. in his opinion, they gave him way too much attention, and his sister didn't get nearly as much as she deserved. he didn't think they meant any harm by it. sometimes they just needed a gentle reminder that sam was still a real person, and that she did still exist. it had become such a routine that when his parents made a comment that might tip him off, even they picked up on it, thought for a moment, and assured that they weren't purposefully excluding or ignoring her. it was relieving.

"is everything alright, hun? you haven't even touched your food yet," his mother said pointedly.

he thought back to the earlier events of today. he remembered the way darryl immediately shied away after asking him to go to that little café, and he thought it was strange because darryl wasn't the type of person to be scared by something like that. he thought of the way that darryl's hand in his made his heart stop beating and his brain stop functioning. he'd never experienced any kind of physical contact from anyone outside of his own family. he thought of the way darryl so gently told him to choose whatever drink he wanted, and even ordered for him so he wouldn't have to. darryl was probably, hands down, the nicest person - besides maybe sam - that he'd ever met. it made him so, so nervous.

"zak?" he looked up at her, fork still loosely in hand. "aw, i can tell something's on your mind."

he sighed, setting the fork down. his hands dropped down into his lap, fidgeting. "i... i met this boy." he was nervous. how much should he tell her? how would she react? there wasn't really...much for her to react to. but the thought still scared him.

"oh, not vincent, right?"

"no, a different boy," he breathed.

she nodded thoughtfully. "and...what about this boy?"

"i met him...three days ago? on the first day of school. he's new. he was in my first hour, and the teacher let him choose a seat for the semester. there were plenty of seats open, but he sat next to me." she cocked her head, but still motioned for him to go on. "i couldn't speak to him. he introduced himself to me, and when i didn't say anything, he seemed kind of disappointed. but he didn't just...stop talking to me, i guess. i helped him find his second hour. we have that class together too. and he sat next to me again." he began tapping his fingers on his leg. "and i don't know. he's really nice. and he's the only person who's ever really gone out of their way to try to talk to me. others just kind of...judge me and move on. but we've been hanging out, i guess, since monday. he makes me really nervous, but i don't think he hates me, so i don't know why i'm so scared about the whole thing."

zak's mother looked like she wanted to say something. she opened her mouth, but closed it again, holding back whatever it was she wanted to say. instead, she paused to think for a moment, and then spoke. "he seems like a nice boy. i know you have trouble meeting new people and talking to them, so i understand why you might be scared." that seemed to work to ease the rapid beating of his heart, if only a little. "ultimately, the decision is up to you, but maybe you could just keep hanging out with him and see what happens. you'll have to figure out what makes you so nervous about it on your own, but i don't think it's just because he's nice to you."

that last statement just didn't sit right with zak. yet, of course, he couldn't figure out why.

why else would he be so nervous around darryl?

for the rest of the dinner, they ate in silence. neither of the two attempted to make conversation with the other. occasionally, zak's mother would check her cell phone. zak didn't really pay attention to anything other than the food on his plate and the thoughts that had been plaguing his mind for days.

after they were done eating, zak's mom stayed to clear the table. zak fled to his bedroom to do his history homework.

the homework was hard.

zak had no idea what he was doing. if only darryl were here. he'd be able to help.

what was he thinking? he wasn't supposed to want people to be around him. at any other time, he would have given anything to be alone, to not have to be around another person. yet now, he was almost...longing for darryl to be there. just thinking about that fact made him feel sick. what was happening to him?

he shook the thoughts off. after completing the rest of the assignment with halfhearted effort, he decided that his work was good enough and put the assignment away in his backpack. he could probably just ask darryl to compare answers tomorrow.

he was tired. not enough to fall asleep, but too much so that he had almost no motivation to do anything else. with what little energy he had left, he dragged himself to the bathroom to brush his teeth. upon returning to his bedroom, he collapsed onto his bed, curling up in the sheets. he grabbed one of his extra pillows and hugged it to his chest. what's it like to hug someone who's not family? is it nice?

he stuck out his arm, barely being able to reach his alarm clock, and set his alarm for the morning. at least tomorrow was friday. then he could have a break from the overwhelming school setting. he was in dire need of that.

he lay in bed silently, thinking about the last few days. his mother's words were still fresh in his mind. it didn't make any sense. maybe he did just need to take time to think about it.

he had no clue what was happening to him, but that didn't stop him from wishing he did.

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word count: 1340

eek this story is kinda picking up traction wayy faster than i thought it would i'm not ready to be wattpad famous but thanks anyways :')

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