What lies behind a smile

22

I grew up hearing my alarm go off. Back to hell, I go. I turn off my alarm looking for Tessa, I take her out of the cold and wake her right up. Once we're back in I go to the bathroom and shower, and brush my teeth. I don't even wanna try with my hair, it's now too long and curly. I should probably get a hair cut but it's growing on me. I brush it and use some curly stuff Wanda gave me. I drag my feet walk into my closet and grab a pretty basic outfit (flannel a t-shirt and sweats ).

"Peter?" Wanda says I walk out of my closet and I see she has some makeup in her hand. "Do you want me to show you how to cover your scars?"

Oh, thank god. I nod taking off my flannel she shows me how and I thank her.
"You have a good day Pete imma going back to bed."

"Okay, thanks again Wanda," I say. She's always taking care of me.

I leave my room and Tony is making waffles (The only thing he knows how to make).
"Good morning underoos."

"morning." He places the plate on the counter. "Thank you! So what are you gonna do today since I'm gone?"

"I have no clue, you're not gonna be here to entertain me."He hooks his arm around me.
"Watch the hair!"

"Okay okay, I'm sorry. You actually brushed it."I roll my eyes at his laughs.

"I brush it!"I say definitively but also feeling a little embarrassed. I always would get a little ready just more recently before everything happened I had grown absolutely exhausted. My looks were not my concern.

"I see you're starting to dress like a frat boy."I laugh at that. "How?"

"The sweats all the time you've been wearing hats even!"

"Weren't you like a playboy?"His eyes widen and he stares at me. "This isn't about me!"

"Really? That's new- ow! That's abusive I'm gonna tell my social worker you're backhanding me!" I tease.

"Yeah right. Eat your food smartass."I laugh taking a bite of my food. I finish eating and Tony takes me to school. I beg him to not bring a flashy car and just go with his Audi Q7 which is still too nice for my liking. I don't really want people to know I'm living with Tony stark, I'll be connected to spider-man that way.

"Okay if you need anything just call me here's a folder with all your notes, and my stuff so they know you're with me." I nod. "Take that straight to the office, Peter."

"Yes sir! Okay bye."

"Try to have a good day don't get into any fight. Love you kiddo!" I roll my eyes grinning. "Love you too, "I say for the first time. The cold air hits me again I try my best to keep my teeth from chattering. A few people stare at the car.

"Parker?"I turn to see Abraham.

"Hey man!"I say zipping up my jacket.

"How have you been? I'm sorry about your aunt, it's good to see you."

"Oh uh, thanks me too. I'm okay, what have you been up to I hear decathlon isn't doing so good."

"You know Flash is absolute dog shit. It'll be good to have you back."

"I gotta get my grades up first, I missed a lot of schools and I won't be eligible til they fixed."

"You failing?"I laugh nervously.
"How many classes?"

"Just 2 now everything else is better." I've managed to get them to high 70s low 80s which is better. I think my teacher is just pitting me and as much as I hate it when people feel sorry for me, right now I'll take it if it helps my grades.

"Well, your smart you got this. If you need anything just snap me."I nod "Hey uh I gotta go drop this off at the office." He nods and goes our separate ways. I walk into the building avoiding people's eyes, I wish I was being paranoid but I kept hearing my name. The accident, May, Flash. I opened the office door.

"Hi, um I was supposed to drop these off."The lady goes through them I see her eyes soften. Don't feel bad for me.

"Okay honey, um will that be all."I nod. I walk to the first period and see Ned, he's with Mj. Well, this will be awkward.

"Peter!" Ned calls out.

"Hey, Ned."He gives me a hug I hold onto him tight , even Mj hugs me. I sit down and stare at my shoes.

"So...how have you been?"Ned asks.

"Shitty, "I admit. "It's a little better now."He nods.

"You could always talk to us Peter...like we're here for you."Mj says "You just kinda disappeared on us we didn't really know what happened." I feel guilty but theirs no way I was gonna tell them I tried to off myself. At least not right now that is.

"I'm sorry guys I just needed some time with everything. I wasn't doing so good." My leg starts to bounce nervously.

"How about now?"Ned asks

"Um, Tony got me a therapist so that's been helpful..."

"That's good Peter."I nod. I can't even sum up the will to pretend, I haven't been wearing the happy face for a whole month. And pretending was so draining, it just made me feel worse because when I was alone I realized I wasn't okay. But not acting like that happy kid has been different for those around me. And I hope Ned and Mj still like me, but I'm not gonna be the same anymore parts of me will go back to normal I'm sure. With time I'll get back to being a kid again but right now with everything being so fresh I know I'm gonna be distant. My medications also play a part in it.

"I got a dog, "I say trying to start a conversation. I grab my phone and start looking for a picture of Tessa. I find a video of Steve trying to train Tessa. They watch laughing.

"She cute!"Mj says "So what's it like living at the compound?"

"It's cool... I mean they are all super nice and always hanging out with me."

"That's good Pete."She rubs her eyes and I see the tears in them. "Sorry, I just missed you."Her cheeks get red. I embrace her apologizing Ned joins the hug.

"You two better stop crying because I won't stop if I start, "I say. I'm over fucking crying I cry all the time now."

"Okay okay!"Mj says chuckling.
________________________

I walk into the lunchroom and stand in line for food, I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around. Flash. He stares at me and I can't help eye his nose. He has tape on his nose though it's not swollen and probably almost healed.

"What"I force out my hands curling into fists.

"I uh...I just wanted to apologize about your aunt Peter. Like I'm really sorry." It catches me off guard. There is no way he's sorry.
"I couldn't imagine..."

"yeah well, I hope you never have to, "I say turning around and getting my food. I take a seat by Ned and Mj who are sitting with the Decathlon kids. I say my hellos and hear the usual I'm sorry about your aunt. The fact that they were saying the same thing about Ben just two years ago makes my stomach turn.

"How have you been feeling Peter?"Sarah asks. I wanna say how do you think I've been but I shouldn't be acting like a dick.

"Um, I don't really wanna talk about it, "I say trying to sound as nice as possible.

"Okay, that's fine peter!"Ned says Thankfully he changes the topic and nods at him. I and Ned start our conversation as he catches me up on everything I missed.

________________________
date- 5/2/22
Word Count- 1356

I'm sorry guys I know its been two weeks!!! I've been feeling so unmotivated to do anything recently, it's bad. I'll try to get back to updating like normal again. But I finally saw uncharted and it was really good!!!