and maybe she made him die twice

one name, two heroes

Prologue

Most stories about love are full of shit. 

All those books with all those picture-perfect couples talk about love as if it's inevitable. That if you just meet the right person, you'll fall when you least expect it. 

They're wrong. Being in love is just a pathetic choice. 

Or at least, I used to believe that. 

Chapter one

"Jason." 

Those precious soft-spoken two syllables, without the usual strain on one and a snarl of anger on the other, caught him off guard. 

Sure, that word that passed for his identity had been spoken before. Preceded with a "master" by Alfred or a "get over here now" by Bruce. 

But for reasons unknown, the central figures in his too-short life went to a great deal to avoid it. The good nicknames? Robin. Todd. Adopted ward. The bad? Thief. Street rat. Replacement. 

"Disgrace of a son" was the worst one of all. 

So maybe, just maybe, Starfire was the first person to call him by his name.

But he wasn't thinking about that, because he wasn't thinking about her. 

And why would he be? Juggling a double life by day and swinging from rooftops on a nylon-thin cord with Batman by night left little time for girls. 

He'd seen what 'love' led to. Love led to sex. Sex led to pregnancy. Pregnancy led to his mother cursing out his existence before he was even purged from her body, while his dad seduced an off-duty nurse in the hospital parking lot. 

Bruce didn't help with his perception either. Love was just a thing that got in the way of the mission. And the mission would never be over. 

So when Grayson crossed the threshold, the sun itself flying by his side, love was somehow both the first and last thing on his mind. 

"You are the new Robin, yes?" Starfire asked. 

"Uh...yeah." 

She leaned down. Ruffled his hair. "Oh, you are most adorable! Come look, Richard!" 

"I see him." Robin snapped back. She slinked away from him like a scolded puppy. "Really, Bruce? You made me wait years before I could even think about setting foot next to you, but take pity on a street kid and a month later he's already in the tights." 

"Let's continue this discussion." Bruce jabbed a thumb at his study, his raspy husk devolving into a growling undertone. "Privately." 

They'd secreted it as a visit. "Master Dick is coming to our luncheon with his friends," Alfred had insisted. "He really wants to get to know you better." 

But Jason knew what he really came for. The lay of the land. Whether there could be two heroes under one name. 

"Sheesh," Beastboy whistled as their argument disappeared into the library. "And I thought I had problems." 

Jason was mercifully quiet. A puzzle piece of the shadows that didn't quite fit. As always.

"So," Beastboy bashfully broke the silence with an awkward titter. "Wanna hear a knock-knock joke?"

"Depends if it's funny, greenie," Jason smirked. 

"Knock-knock!" 

Jason skeptically perked up a single eyebrow. His mouth stayed clamped shut. Beastboy leaned over and whispered, "You're supposed to say who's there."