Abstruse | H.S.

Chapter Seventeen

HARRY

Didn't think I'd be in this situation again.

Waking up in a bed next to Ara, for the second time.

I let my head get the best of me again, and I felt..bad for Ara. What I saw last night, what I witnessed was heartbreaking. That wasn't a word I used a lot.

In my line of work, I never feel bad. There is not a sympathetic bone in my body. But for whatever reason without my control, I couldn't help but want to help her. I didn't even know I was doing it until after it was done.

I have seen a lot of horrible shit. Hell; I've done a lot of the horrible shit I've seen. But seeing Ara so..angry and so destroyed after interacting with her mother was an image I couldn't get out of my head. It was haunting; and I hated that I felt that way.

I never want to see Ara so distraught ever again. I know it sounds fucking ridiculous. And that's because it is. But I had an overwhelming, uncontrollable need to, I don't know, protect her?

I can't even begin to explain it. I don't even understand it myself. I hardly know the girl and I don't care to necessarily, but a part of me just wanted to know more.

I have never felt this way about anyone. And last night was just a snap. And I hate it. I don't want to feel this way towards her or anyone.

She's still beside me, her head on my chest and her leg swung over my waist and her small hand laying on my stomach as it rise and falls. Her eyes are closed so delicately, she looks so peaceful. But the way her eyebrows are almost permanently pushed together makes it look like she is in her own head even when unconscious.

She wouldn't be doing this if she were awake. I know she wouldn't. I'm surprised I'm even allowing this right now. But it's just so..comforting. I don't have the heart right now to push her off.

I sound like a fucking pussy.

I look like a pussy even being in a bed with a girl, while we're still clothed.

My mind just keeps trying to put the pieces together to figure this girl out. I knew there was something about her the night we met. How she didn't jump my bones, and how she made out with Niall, how snappy she was with me but also frightened. Or how when we drove to her place so Olive could give her her things and she flipped like a switch. I've never seen anything like it. She was so unpredictable and it was frustrating how I couldn't get a good read on her.

Clearly, her mother is on drugs. I could tell the moment she walked out the house to greet Ara. And my assumptions were correct when Ara lost her shit on her and said she chose drugs over her.

I felt bad. I actually felt bad, and angry for Ara. I could feel the pain in her voice. I know what it's like to grow up with shitty parents who abandon you. I know that first hand. At least she was fortunate enough to go to a family members house. It was a nice, big, and welcoming place. Looks like a stereotypical happy family home.

I couldn't tell if Ara was just so upset by her mother or what, but when we walked through the front doors she had this look of disgust and panic. It flashed through her eyes so suddenly and vanished as quickly as it came. That was a telling that maybe it wasn't all so perfect as you would think just by looking at the place.

Fuck. I hate that I'm trying to read into this. I don't want to but I, I just can't help it. It's literally hurting my head with utter confusion.

I feel Ara stir next to me, a soft groan coming from her closed lips. I immediately stiffen because I honestly don't know what to do, and I catch myself holding my breath.