Sunsets Lead To Sunrises (Dadzawa story)

Moonrise

In his minimization, he felt whole.

The walk back to Aizawa's apartment, or temporary home if we're being technical, was strange, to say the least. Izuku tried to think through any plausible reasons Aizawa could have been acting so coldly towards Shoto. Could all of this really be because of some theory his teacher had over Shoto's feelings towards him? He was tempted to ask but he couldn't seem to get the words out. Apprehension clouded his judgment and he fell into a troubled silence. By the time they walked back through the door Izuku breathed out a sigh of relief, glad for the distraction. Hizashi seemed to be long gone- perhaps not wanting to be trapped alone with Aizawa's 'vicious feline'. 

Izuku followed Aizawa wordlessly through the apartment as they traveled down the hall Izuku had been so curious about. Aizawa pointed out the bathroom and his own room before showing Izuku into the guest room. The area was more spacious than his own dorm. The walls were painted a comforting grayish blue, matching the quilt draped over a bed pushed against the window. A little desk sat in the corner, looking oddly empty without so much as a pen resting on its surface. Izuku stepped further into the room, doing a 360 to fully appreciate the space. It was sparsely decorated but still...it was perfect. A lump formed in his throat.

"Will this be okay?" Aizawa asked with a twinge of concern in his voice. He watched Izuku's face closely as if trying to gauge if his teary eyes were because of something in the room. "I'm sorry it feels a little empty right now. I've never really been one to have guests around so you're the first to use it. You're welcome to decorate it or something. Maybe just not too many All Might posters or-" he stopped midsentence as Izuku stumbled into him, wrapping his arms around the elder in a tight hug. After a moment, Izuku felt strong arms reciprocate the gesture. He cried quietly into Aizawa's capture gear for a moment, unable to put his gratitude into words. It had been so long since someone had gone out of their way to do something for him. So long since he had been taken care of. He had never felt smaller than when he stood in that room, hugging his hero; and yet, in his minimization, he felt whole. For a moment he was just a kid, safe in the arms of someone who would watch after him. 

"I'm s-sorry for crying. I'm...just so happy." Izuku chocked out.

He felt Aizawa's arms tighten around him protectively. "It's okay kid. You can cry all you want."

That just made him cry harder. 

It was like he was being pulled in two directions.

 One, a warm and safe path. He could let himself be a kid again around Mr.Aizawa. Accept the comfort until it felt real. It was scary to let himself feel those emotions that made one vulnerable. Feel anything too strong and it opened up a possibility of getting hurt. Izuku wasn't sure he could pretend to be okay a second time. But vulnerability also led to some of the greatest things in life. Maybe if he let allowed himself to be authentic and honest about his feelings Aizawa could see the good and the ugly, he wouldn't have to pretend anymore. All he had wanted for so long was to stop playing pretend but now, after all this time, he didn't know how to be himself. He could barely process his own emotions, how was he supposed to know who he truly was anymore?  Life had been so much easier before he forced himself to grow up too quickly. In childhood, one wore their heart on their sleeve. But life seemed to slowly form a gap between him and his heart. Now he could only guess as to what it truly wanted. 

On the other hand, he could try to end this now before he grew too attached to Aizawa. The thought of it sent a pang through his heart. He didn't want to deny the comfort but it felt wrong in a way. He should be going to his mother if he was having problems- even his own father. Was he going to inadvertently hurt them by allowing himself to depend on a different caretaker? He had been avoiding her phone calls for too long, he knew at some point they would need to have an honest conversation, but that was easier said than done.