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ᴇɪɢʜᴛᴇᴇɴ 𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑖𝑎
❦
Maria saw Arthur for days after too, spending the only hours in which she could escape wandering around the neutral, unwatched territory that lay between Small Heath and the land beyond, or sheltered within the holy walls of their church. It was like no man's land, that bleak, squared area. A place only those who did not fear death, for those who believed in the timings of a God, for those who saw war as a violent construct of bored and petty men.
At hours when she wasn't with Arthur, Maria was with Elena, preparing things for the baby that would be arriving in two months. The mere thought of having a child within their familial protection, no matter if it was her own or not, left Maria with a sunken heart. Seeing the cot that was placed alongside the bed in the hotel room- a bedroom of which Luca had not been sharing- made her envious in some sinful way, but Maria pushed it down until she didn't need to acknowledge that feeling.
Elena's face had lost the glowing flush and replaced it with a ghastly pallor. Her usual kindness had diminished, dismissed by a fit of anger that had been provoked by nothing but her own intrusive thoughts. And through the pains of carrying the heavy child, Elena had begun to curse. The baby. Her husband. God, even if she had to. She cursed all her eyes could regretfully lay on. All except her dearest Maria, as she had taken to calling her closest friend.
Her delusions had begun suddenly but without a surprise for Maria and any of the staff that came and went from the bedroom. Being confined to one, unfamiliar room for so long was bound to do things to an individual and Elena was no more blessed than any other mother. With the lack of her husband's presence, the ongoing conflict with the Birmingham gang, and the worries of seeing childbirth all the way through was enough to send many over the brink of sanity.
Where Elena had once been paranoid and fearful of Maria's to-doings with the Peaky Blinder gangster, she was now intrigued, asking questions so randomly through the day that Maria was scared Luca would soon overhear.
"You were with him again?" Elena asked, gripping her friend's hands as she sat up in her bed, surrounded by piles of blankets despite the sweat that was lathered over her forehead.
"Yes," Maria said, before scolding her. "We mustn't speak about him. Luca can't know."
"I know." Elena sighed but pressed her further. "But please, dearest Maria, tell me about him. I'm living my life vicariously through you."
"Elena-"
"Please, Maria. I haven't left this hotel in weeks," she said. "Just one story. Tell me that he treats you well. What is he like?"
Maria gave in. After all, it wasn't as if it was hard to talk about the man, give he occupied her thoughts when she found herself bored. "Arthur is troubled and kind and generous with his affections. But... he is a very complicated man."
Elena snorted slightly. "Aren't they all?" No doubt she was thinking mostly of Luca.
Maria smiled in agreement. "Yes, I suppose they are. But Arthur most of all."
"Does he love you?" Elena said suddenly, abruptly.
She left Maria speechless, unsure of what she could possibly say. She knew of her own feelings, but of Arthur's... they were harder to discern. Though she remembered clearly what he'd said that night in her apartment. I could love you if you let me.
"I haven't known him long-"
Elena shook her head, keeping her excited grip on her hands. "But does he love you, dearest Maria? Does he yearn for you when you're not there? Does he touch you when you go to him?"
"Elena!"
"Do not be ashamed. To feel him is to love him," she said, brushing it away. "It is love. I knew Luca was the one from the very start. Love does not take long to work."
Maria was shaken by such blatant talk of all things touching and loving and sex. They'd been close forever, the two women, and yet had never spoken of such thing. But by the mere mention of it, Maria could suddenly feel his hands on her again, so gentle yet needy, making her let out sounds God knew she had never made before. Her cheeks flushed, breathing stuttering as she wiped the sensation away from her prickled skin.
Elena recognised the expression. "You've done it with him?" She let out a surprised but ecstatic laugh. "My darling Maria, you're a true woman now!"
Maria frowned at that statement. Why was her sense of womanhood supposedly based on the actions she had committed with a man? Why was her femininity a result of what could only be called an act of child making? Elena did not seem to understand, and it did not seem to be a side effect of her delirium.
"Enough about Arthur," Maria snapped, unsettled by the revelation of her presence as a woman.
"But Mari..."
"Please," she said.
"I understand." But could Elena understand? "Don't be ashamed."
Maria shook her head, ending their conversation in one swift movement. Despite how easy thoughts of Arthur Shelby came to her head, she had been distracted by something else since the previous day.
"I think Luca is planning something," she said slowly, looking away from her brother's wife. "Something bad."
Elena shrugged, reaching for a cigarette, only for the box to be ripped from her hands. "I wouldn't know," she said, scowling. "I haven't talked to my husband in days, nor seen him for a few, for that matter."
Maria nodded but was not surprised. Luca had been distracted for days, coming in and out of their hotel suite at odd and all hours of the day, his time out in England sometimes prolonging far into the night before the returned, only to hide himself in his temporary study. When Luca was planning something, Maria had recognised a common expression on his face. There was a twist to his lips, a sinister glint behind his eyes that had also been common with that other their father's. It was as if he had seen the future, foretold it in prophecy, and was making sure it would happen his way and no other.
"I will find out before it happens," Maria said, worry creeping up her arms.
"You can try," Elena said bleakly. "But the truth is, if you believe he is doing something now, then he has already done it. You know your brother. Luca is quick. He leaves no room for mistakes."
