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ᴇᴘɪʟᴏɢᴜᴇ 𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝐵𝑎𝑐𝑘 𝑇𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟
❦
The fire burned warm and bright, licking the edges of the hearth with a reddish glow, blazing away at the cold colour of the evening, which flooded through the open window. Maria looked down upon the street at the pattering rain and empty shop fronts- it was a sight she was sure she would never see again. But the sight was not unwelcome. Away from the frosty, English weather, bundled in the thick cloud of heat that bathed the flat, an old, familiar feeling settled within her once again.
It was funny how it was the same person who both gave her that feeling and took it away.
Lucia's cries settled down with the sounds of the rain which echoed through the wide frame of the chimney. The little girl settled further into her father's arms, feeling as content as she had while in Sicily, despite the withering climate and unfamiliar smells. She looked as happy too, her round cheeks flushed and sleeping race relaxed with creases. Maria had to smile at the sight.
Arthur paused his rocking for a moment as he looked up at her. Even as a baby, their daughter had so much of her mother in her small face, whether it was her large eyes or the angelic sort of charm- it was very much safe to say that both of them had captured his heart whole, just as God had intended. For what woman so perfect was not created by God? He had intended her so pure, and by some graceful will, Arthur had been judged a suitor, no doubt of his unworthiness.
It was a concept he battled with daily. How could God keep him on his feet despite how awfully he had offended and betrayed Him? It was a wonder he would ponder for the rest of his life.
Arthur stood slowly from the seat and walked to the edge of the roof, bending down to place his daughter in her cot. His hands no longer shook. Instead, they were stable, gentle yet calloused- the careful hands of a father, not that Arthur would know. He looked at his hands and hated to think of all they had done. Cluelessness was all that could describe the feeling that anxiously clouded his stomach. It was a familiar feeling, but somehow, at the same time, it was very much different. At least when he felt stupid around his family, he had Tommy and Polly to clean up, but here, with his own family, there could be no mess-making.
"You remember the last time we were here?"
His question startled her. Letting the lace curtains fall back against the cool glass, Maria retreated to the fireplace, letting her hands find their way to the old picture that stood dangerously on the end, rearranging it.
If she thought hard enough, she could picture every moment, every fragile movement. It was her thoughts too, that came to the tip of her consciousness. How brittle Arthur had seemed then- Maria had almost forgotten that period of time in which he'd been trapped in a confused state.
"It's difficult not to," she said.
"But it's rather fitting if you look at it right, with Lucia here."
Arthur stepped closer gingerly, his hand slowly moving upwards, testing her. In response, Maria shuffled forwards, her chin angled downwards, reaching to meet with his hands, his fingers tangling in the hair beside her face.
"Arthur," she sighed, eyes fluttering closed until he spoke again.
"Maria," he said lowly. "I'm here to stay. I'm not that person anymore."
In dark light, his hair was tinted a reddish colour, as if brown strands were flecked with blood. He looked older too, his skin harsh beneath her hand, eyes tired and purplish, swollen around the edges. He smelled faintly of wood from the fire and the scent of vanilla soap lingered on his palms. His breathing moved between lightness and heaviness. Despite everything, Arthur felt like home.
"I know. And I love you every day for it. But I keep remembering it, I keep seeing it," Maria said, desperately leaning further into his touch. "What happens when your brothers realise you're here? What happens when they coming knocking at the door, giving you a part in their next venture? Will you really be able to say no?"
"Yes. For you, Maria. I'm here for you and Lucia," Arthur said quickly, surely. "I have money. I won't need Tommy. He's legitimate now. He won't need me."
The doubt riddled within her. "A brother always needs a brother," Maria said. "Just how a sister needed her brother. Even if she hated him. Blood is thick."
"That doesn't sound like you," Arthur said, and Maria thought he was about to step away, but he dipped his head toward her, rubbing his nose against the side of her cheek.
Her hand reached behind his neck. "You promised to give Lucia the best life you can. That is enough for me."
"I promised to give you both the life you deserve. I promised to love you," Arthur said, his voice loud in her ear despite the whisper. Hot breath trickled down her chin. "And God knows I will."
Her lips found his, kissing him eagerly. Arthur wanted to cry out with ecstasy. His movements had never felt so needy, so desperate to reach out and touch something. Every inch of her skin felt new, as if he was loving her for the first time. Her forgiveness has washed everything anew, drenching it with cleanliness, the true brush of an angel.
Maria kissed him as no words could leave her lips matching the passion she felt at that moment. She'd missed this- she'd missed him with all his faults and tremors and damages and scars. God did know that he would love her as she deserved- Maria could feel it in the way he kissed her back, in the way he muttered her name as he drew up for seconds to catch his breath before capturing her again.
With love, came the hardships of any relationship. But love is not love without forgiveness and forgiveness was not itself without love. It was the very concept that kept them breathing, reaching out for more. Arthur was brave to apologise, to cast out the devil and look to the light. But Maria was stronger in that she took him in as he was.
Then there was Lucia, a raw example of what divine love could create, the most beautiful of children, the purest of hearts with a smile laced with gold. As beautiful as your mother, Arthur would say someday into the future. As charming as your father, Maria would reply. She could see it all lacing together now, like the threads of a tapestry, weaving together until one whole picture. In theirs, there was only room for the present, no cares looking into the past. Maria smiled at the image of it all, her lips pulling wide against his as Arthur chuckled.
