Risotto Nero Being A Tired Father Of 6 [CRACK FIC]

Bruno Buccellati, Mom of the Year

Risotto soon realized that they were out of milk (gosh darn it Pesci), and needed to get more. He debated whether he should bring the gang or not, on one hand they're embarrassing to be seen in public with, but on the other hand he didn't want to leave his team unsupervised.

In the end, Risotto decided that he'd bring them all to the grocery store with them.

"Melone, Ghiaccio, Michael Jackso- Illuso, Formaggio, get over here." They all went up to their capo, all of them wondering why Prosciutto and Pesci were excluded. Risotto held out four of those stuffed animal toddler leash backpack things. They all began fighting over who wanted which one. Ghiaccio ended up with a cat, Melone had a frog, Formaggio had a monkey and Pillow Pet- I mean Illuso had a duck.

"Why don't Prosciutto or Pesci have to wear these?" Formaggio whined.

"Because I just have to look at Pesci funny and he'll stop whatever he's doing."

"WHAT ABOUT PROSCIUTTO?!"

"Prosciutto...I dunno. I just don't think he needs one. Anyways, you have five seconds to get in the car before you'll find scissors in your vertebral arteries."

The trip to the store went as you'd expect. Risotto thought that maybe if he turned on kidz bop they'd all be quiet. What actually happened was Ghiaccio got upset that the lyrics didn't make sense anymore.

"Why can't you all just BE LIKE MELONE?!," Risotto asked. He was pointing out the fact that Melone hadn't said a word for the majority of the trip. Instead, he was doing something on his phone.

"But Riz, he's making Tik Toks!" Hee hee man pointed out. Risotto slammed on the breaks. Melone's phone flew into the front of the car. Risotto took it and began driving again, throwing the phone out the window.

"No child of mine is becoming a thot!"

"You're just mad I have more followers than you!~"

When they arrived at the grocery store, Risotto gripped the ends of the leashes with one hand while pushing the cart. While he was looking at eggs, Bruno Buccellati walked up to him. They were talking for a few minutes with just basic small talk before Buccellati noticed Risotto's wrist.

"Are your children on leashes..?"

Risotto felt slightly embarrassed. Why couldn't he have well behaved kids like Buccellati? He looked over to the zipper stripper's cart to find them all waiting quietly. Trish and Mista were playing sticks, Fugo was explaining something about nutritional facts to Narancia, and Giorno was people watching while Abbacchio went to find the wine.

"Yeah...didn't your kids all drop out of school?"

Buccellati didn't respond, he just grabbed his eggs and returned to his cart.