You're Gonna Be the Death of Me

2

I was quite uncomfortable. Not because of the sent or the people- okay scratch that. Sorta- My point is that sitting across from Matteo severely made me want to jump out of the window.

He's the son of a killer. A killer who killed my parents. Two people just wanting to protect their family. I know that I can't condone him for something his father did- but who the hell is going to stop me.

If he dies right now, I would feel closure. His father is alive. Meaning that if the tiniest bit of closure I can receive is if his son dies. I would take it.

That sounds totally fucked up, but who the hell cares. The only reason I am here is because I am the best fucking friend to walk the planet. Lorenzo was their for me when I needed him- the least I could do is put away my grudge and pretend that I like him.

I never would though. Like him I mean. I feel like I would be betraying my parents. Like, I would be dishonoring their memory. Which is totally and completely fucked up.

I don't remember much about my parents. Everyone talks so highly of them- and all I can do is nod my head and watch them laugh at the memories of them while I have no clue what they're talking about.

I know their trying to comfort me- or try to help me with my grief. The truth is I wish they were here. I miss the people that I don't know and it sounds pathetic. I mourn the people I never knew.

I hope- that one day I will meet them.

In death. God that sounds morbid but I don't give two shits.

**

"You know I never took you as someone who smoked." The voice that it belonged to was Jessie Nott

"Well I do." Jessie was the only one of the three that wasn't completely unbearable

"I think that's quite obvious considering the fact that is what you're currently doing." Jessie took a seat by me

Him saying that earned an eye roll from me. He took out his lighter and pulled out a cigarette from the box that had been laying on the floor. I didn't even know why he was here and surely I didn't want to make conversation, that would only put me in a awkward position, maybe if I-

"I have one simple question for you." He said bringing the cigarette to his lips, I nodded waiting for the question he was about to ask "How stupid do you think I am?"

"Would really stupid be a good answer." I turned my head facing towards him even though he didn't dare face me

He ignored my comment "Last year you wanted to avada kedevra me why the change of heart?"

"I never wanted to avada kedevera you. Your friends, yes. But you? No." I brought the cigarette back up to my lips breathing in the smoke

He chuckled "Sometimes I want to kill them too." He had a genuine smile coaxing his lips

"You realize that Mattheo sees right through you. He's smarter than he looks-" I cut him off

"I know that he know that I don't want to be his friend. So I'm not going to pretend like I want too." I could feel his eyes piercing at the back of my head but I didn't dare look at him

Being pulled out of my thoughts once more he stated "Just know what you're getting yourself into because Aurore," he paused as I turned to face him "there's no going back once you're in."

"I know, I'm not hear to corrupt things Jessie," I stopped now making eye contact for the first time tonight "and I'm not here to fix things either, there's no fixing what's already broken."