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@yourtwitter
normalize beating the shit out of strangers who piss you off
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@tubbo
like... assault?
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@yourtwitter
no just a light tap with my fist but repeatedly
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@quackity
who hurt you
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@tommyinnit
y/n woke up and chose violence
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@dreamwastaken
someone got out of the wrong side of bed

a package sits at your doorstep. you reach for it, flipping over to see who the sender is. alex's name is written neatly, along with his address. you open the package. there's a black duck hoodie, a me perdonas shirt, and something hidden in between the two. you take out a black head band, with cat ears attached.

he did not.

you
2:43pm
i know where you live 😏

alex
2:44pm
ive made a big mistake

you
2:45pm
more like the best mistake

you toss the headband aside, pulling the hoodie on. the fabric is soft, warming your skin. you send a selfie to quackity with your thumbs up.

alex
2:59pm
put the fucking cat ears on loser

you
3:01pm
no way jose

alex
3:05pm
....please?

you
3:07pm
u would want me to bc ur such a catboy
these are urs arent they?

alex
3:08pm
bold of u to assume i only have one pair

you
3:09pm
fucking knew it

alex
3:10pm
i was kidding
shut the fuck up

you
3:14pm
meow *nuzzles*

alex
3:15pm
WHAT THE FUCK NO

you
3:16pm
uwu

alex
3:16pm
blocked

you
3:18pm
no pls

Message not delivered.

you laugh. he actually did it. you post a screenshot of the three recent texts on twitter.

@yourtwitter*photo*
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@karljacobs
@quackity what the honk dude she was trying to be cute
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@tommyinnit
@yourtwitter you had it coming. this is why u don't uwu

you find the headband discarded in your room and slip it on. you take a selfie of your forehead just visible, and send it to quackity on discord.

y/n
will this make you forgive me?

his facetime call is your answer. his smug, grinning face pops up onto your screen, the phone angled below his chin. tufts of black hair peak out from under his beanie. he's in a supermarket, the aisles blurring behind him."you fucking did it, i knew you would," he laughs, his eyes scanning the shelves in front of him.

"one time offer," you say, slipping them off your head. he frowns but says nothing more. you prop your phone against a mug in the kitchen, preparing to make some lunch.

"whatcha making?" he asks.

"don't know yet," you mumble, staring into your cupboards. a packet of instant noodles catches your eye.

"noodles it is," you say to him.

"ooh, am i going to get a cooking stream?"

"guess so," you say with a smile, bringing a pot of water to boil. quackity gets into his car, placing a bag of groceries in the passenger seat.

"lemme give you a lil haul," he says, propping his phone up onto the dashboard. he pulls items out one by one, the bag sitting in his lap.

"goldfish crackers," quackity says, showing you the brand. he crinkles the packaging, making the audio go crunchy.

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