Dangerous Decisions

why wait?

One minute you were here,
the next you were gone.
Why did you leave me...
You could've warned of how much this would have hurt.

This is the story of my fourteen year old life. Eric Castro ADHD, domestically abused teenager. Self-injurer. Suicidal. Etc. Etc.

My life has always been hard, but this past week was something new, what with Emmanuel and Fabrizia... I've always been a troubled kid. My parents practically treat me like an animal; only difference being the animal would've ran away by now.

Its been a week since I last went to school... I actually miss it.

Tomorrow I go back, I just want today to end so I could get out of this Tartarus already.

Slowly the dark cover of sleep settled and I was drawn under its tide of drowsiness. Into a land where I can control whatever I want to happen. My way, everything is okay. I'll be fine...

"Ouch" wait where am I.

I looked around at my surroundings. All I can see are flowers? Roses. Scarlet red roses... I looked up and all i saw was a crystal blue sky with only the slightest trace of a cloud. The sun shining brightly but giving off gentle warmth. This isn't too bad.

I looked down to where I felt some pain. My elbow hit a rock. Huh, in dreams you don't really feel pain.-. Weird.

I walked around a bit. I looked more closely at the flowers, their color was so intriguing. The redness of it so.. So soothing, relaxing. I touched one of the petals and the redness came off it and went onto my fingers. I smelled it and I recognized it, it was the smell of the hospital I was in, the smell of a recent cut... Blood.. My arm started hurting and I took of my shirt to see what was wrong. I had a shallow but long cut along my forearm. That wasn't there. Around my feet a pool of blood started flooding that place. It was currently up to my shins. But the sky still had its blue shining through. Ironic, its just like me, I could be dying on the inside but all you'll ever see from me is a smile to clear my way.
The blood was now up to my waist and still flowing, though
Then came the awful noice. It sounded like a bird dying, at first it started off at a low flat line then came the infernal beeping, Gods where is that coming from!!

"Eric turn you bugging alarm off, you're going to wake the whole neighborhood!"

Oh so that's where it was coming from. "Okay!" I yelled back. And why am in on the floor?

"Don't yell back at your mother you brat now hurry up leave."

Great, both of the grouches are awake. I just need to take a shower and I'll be on my way.

I walked to my bathroom and began to unchange when I saw that my phone had a message. Two from Emmanuel , how he got my number? no clue, and one from an unknown number. I'll check them when I get out.

I had taken off my boxers and I felt fresh . Then I saw the ugly scar on my leg... A reminder that I had almost died and lost a friend on the same day. I touched it and jumped in the water. I soaked my hair and thought back to my dream and the cut on my arm. It had a scratch along where I had dreamed it... I guess I must've scratched myself, geezus.

I applied the shampoo on my hand and thought back to the blood I had dreamed about. The ever growing AND flooding blood. I looked down and I screamed. The water was red but why. I looked down and saw that I had been scratching off some scabs from my forearm on my cuts. My hand was a waterfall of red. Okay i totally need to chill. I finished rubbing the soap everywhere and washed it off. I stepped out of the shower and patted myself dry. I walked out with my towel tied around my waist and went to to closet, I grabbed a flannel from my closet, thinking back to what Fabrizia had once told me
" you look nice in flannel, its brings out the gay in your eyes", I laughed a half hurt laugh and grabbed a pair of pants and boxers from my drawer. I was putting on my boxers when my phone rang and pulled a little to hard and got my dick stuck on the top.

"Great school starts in ten minutes!"

I finished dressing and left to start my day.

————————————

I looked at my phone and saw that I had forgotten about the text.

I read Emmanuel's first it was a text saying good morning and a picture of him walking to school.

"Nice"

I went to the other one and saw a picture.. It was with Emmanuel and me the other day at the park. It had four simple words.

Watch your back, faggot

Unknown number but I'm pretty sure I know who its from. And with that I arrived at school fuming.