Broken

ELEVEN

Adam's POV

Jane pulled me into the church, and the attention was on us. Most of the faces were familiar, but I could see a few new faces. Ms Rollins was sitting with her friend, talking. She looked up when she saw us pass by and looked back at her friend as if she'd seen someone she didn't know.

I sat next to Jane then the service began. The pastor came and began his sermon.

"Good morning, church. I'm not one to linger about so, let me start.

I'm going to be talking about forgiveness today. I know most of you have heard of this. God wants to forgive us of our sins, but he can only do it if we go and ask for forgiveness ourselves. That's why we have to pray everyday, because we are bound to make a mistake every once in a while. We might even sin without realizing it."

He looked around the church, and his gaze landed on me for a little while, then he smiled and continued on.

"But, have we even given ourselves the chance to forgive ourselves? We have done a lot of things in our lives before we got into this relationship with God. Some of us were the best liars out there, some of us were cheaters. The list is too big for me to even continue on.

We are now in this relationship, yet, we can't forgive ourselves of what we've done in the past. It is said that when one has been baptised, they've become a new creation, meaning that you're clean now. So, why is it that you still hold on to the guilts of the past?

All those things you did before you let God into your life don't exist anymore. And for those who've done something after baptism, just pray about it. Ask for forgiveness, and also forgive yourself. I feel like I was talking to someone today, and I hope and pray that they will allow God to give them the peace they deserve."

When he was done with his sermon, people began to sing. The song wasn't familiar, but the words from the pastor kept on ringing in my head, making my mind tick.

Was praying about it enough? Could it get rid of the guilt I felt inside?

All I got was complete silence as a reply. A hands rested on my shoulder, bringing me out of my reverie. Jane looked at me, a small smile on her face.

"The service is over. Let's go."

I looked around and saw that it was true. The church was nearly empty, apart from just a few people that were still around. When we walked out, I saw the pastor walk towards us. His smile was bright and welcoming.

"Mr Carter, it's been so long since I've last seeing you."

I smiled wryly, discomfort setting in.

"Yes, it has been a while indeed."

He held onto my hand, and gave it a fatherly squeeze. That was definitely something I wasn't expecting from him. It reminded me of my father.

"I know you've been through a lot, son, but know that there's a God in heaven who gives peace."

We had a staring contest for a bit until I nodded my head, and looked about to see Emilia with Ms Rollins standing next to the car, looking in our direction.

"Thank you, pastor, for the sermon. It has given me something to think about."

"Okay, son. Come back next week."

We parted ways and I walked towards the girls. Emilia, being the chatterbox she always has been, talked about what she'd learnt from the children's church while I drove us home.

*******

I took my laptop, and went to do my work in the sitting room while Emilia did her homework. The teacher had told them to look for different types of flowers as their weekend assignment and bring pictures with them. If they wanted to draw as well, they could. The floor was covered with crayons of different colors and she'd taken pictures of the flowers we had in our backyard.