Broken

PROLOGUE

The heavy rain that was falling from the dark grey sky seemed like a sign which showed the pain that I was in. The sky was shedding the tears that I could not at the time. The umbrella I held covered me from the rain. My friend, James, the one of the very few people I had left was standing next to me, an umbrella in hand as well.

Words were being said by the priest, but I didn't hear a single ounce of what he said, thoughts quite far off. Deep in my mind were the pictures and memories I knew for sure would never go away. Memories of happy times, sad times, frustrating times, jovial times.

Memories of her.

"Daddy?"

I looked down at the little girl who sat on my right hip, grey eyes looking at me with an understanding of what was happening at the moment that shattered my heart to a million pieces.

"Yes, pumpkin?"

"The man said that you should throw sand on the grave."

When she said that, it just made all this even more real. For a second there, I had almost believed that I was in a dream I didn't want to be in. The dream where I lost the love of my life, my wife, Kathy.

I took the dry sand that was preserved for this occasion, and threw it on the grave that had been lowered, Emilia following next just after me. I looked at Kathy's parents, whom I was sure wanted nothing to do with me, who didn't want to even spare me a glance. I could not blame them for not wanting to see me, after all, I killed their daughter.

Emilia was now looking at me, her eyes getting a little drowsy. It was a little bit after her nap time after all. Madeline, another friend of mine, took Emilia, saying that she was going to give the child to the nanny, so that she would go home with her. I nodded and gave her a small smile, which she returned.

People began to leave after a few minutes, and I just stood there like a statue, having the littlest clue as to what to do next.

"Adam, let's go."

James' voice was now the only audible sign of human presence in the cemetery. The wind made the branches and leaves hit each other, providing this natural ambience that I would've somewhat appreciated if it wasn't for the situation.

"Give me some time. Alone."

Silence reigned between us, until I was pat on the shoulder, and sounds of snapping twigs on the ground were becoming more and more faint.

When I was certain that no one was there, I looked at the heep of brown mud on the ground in front of me, and the wound that was still very raw began to hurt. An unexplainable pain ran through my entire system, making breathing difficult. I tried to breathe, but I couldn't. The emotions of the past few days, finally, coming out. I knelt on the muddy ground and dropped my umbrella.

I did not deserve to be dry whilst she was six feet under. I had killed her, with my own bare hands. I was not paying attention, and because of that I lost her. Emilia lost her mother. Mr and Mrs Taylor had lost their daughter.

I could not hold them in anymore. I let them become one with the rain. I had heard that men did not cry, but that statement made no sense to me at all at this moment. I let out all my pain and anguish in screams, making fists of wet mud with my hand.