The Unsafe Haven

Chapter 2

“I-ikaw?”

I didn’t know what's happening in the universe now. I was perplexed, couldn’t move what I saw.

He automatically picked my scattered books. He looked at me straightly while giving my stuffs.

“Chill, okay? I am here to say sorry.”

His hazel brown eyes were just stars that confusingly tinkling in my vague galaxy.

The man who halted me earlier was here again in front of me, talking.

I didn’t know what to do? My calmed, sleeping nerves started to vibrate again. I felt my sweats were draping on my forehead as I got my books from him.

“O-okay, d-don’t ask my a-apology…” I held my vibrating glasses, “P-pinatawad na kita!”

I hastily walked away from him. I knew this was another bad impression but I really didn’t care. My phobia was killing me so, I  badly needed to save my soul.

“Wait! Gusto—”

He abruptly held my hand which made me squirmed.

I glanced at him then shockingly, I electrified.

I saw everything around me was moving too slow...

As I turned to his face, it suddenly dressed  into blurry  and until, it had no resonating image at all.

“Cloven, you’re dead.”

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I woke up in a white room. The nurse noticed how my blackened, little eyes opened. I also saw my mother, sitting beside me.

“Nak Cloven, kumusta ka? Okay na ba pakiramdam mo?” My mom asked.

I just gave her a nod then quickly scanned the room; looking for some lost soul.

“Nurse, sino nagdala sa’kin dito?” I asked, wanted to assure that that guy helped me out. It was his fault why I was here, though?

My mom ruffled my hair. “A concerned guy, Nak. Classmate mo yata?”

I looked at my mom and asked her apology of making her worried. The nurse clinic handed us the medicine as we decided to discharge. We went home and thankfully, we arrived safely.

I knew how really concerned my mom was. Actually, she never wanted me to enter university. In my entire high school, I only took online classes—that was, perhaps, the safest idea to unburden my phobia as it really gotten me worse after what the bullying had happened to me. Although, I already had a professional help yet this anxiety had never left me totally. The best thing to do was to manage its symptoms.

“Nak?”

I faced my mom as she currently standing behind the door. I was about to lie down on my cozy bed as my body needed a bunch of rest.

“Ma, alam ko na naman ang sasabihin mo. Diba napag-usapan na natin ‘to?”

“Oo nga pero nak eh…” she decided to sit beside me, trying to be ready to what she will be saying, “Iniisip ko lang  naman ang kapakanan mo…Ang kaligtasan mo.” She touched my head, playing my hair. “Alam kong marami ng masamang naidulot sa’yo ng phobia mo…gaya ng naging mapag-isa ka…wala masyadong kaibigan. Alam kong gusto mong mamuhay ng normal kaya pumasok ka sa unibersidad kahit napakadelikado ng kondisyon mo. Proud ako sa katapangan mo, nak pero minsan mas okay na lamang maging duwag…kahit papano’y ligtas ka.”

I stopped my mom for doing stuff in my hair; I looked at her, making her calmed.

“Ma, hindi mo kailangan maging concerned sa’kin. Di na’ko bata…gusto kong harapin ang takot ko mag-isa. At sa sakit kong ‘to, trust me! Kaya ko ‘to. Simula highschool naging duwag na’ko at gusto ko ngayon, ngayong nasa college na’ko…gusto kong makita ang kakaibang ako. So please Ma…please.”

I saw how my mom got teary with that scenario. I knew how she really was protective in me.

“Okay, sige. Pero magkaroon tayo ng kondisyon” She hastily wiped her small tears. “Kung sakali mangyari na naman ang nangyari kanina, walang sabi-sabi’y babalik ka sa pag-oonline classes mo hanggat di ka pa totally gumagaling. Deal?”

She offered her hand.

“Deal po.” I mouthed and hugged her instead.

Well, I knew this would be a hard part  but I have to do this. Perhaps, this would be a challenge somehow—to be not a weakling to any guys around my age.

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-“Hey?”

“Ikaw na naman?”

The guy with hazel brown eyes was here again but…why was he too close in me?

-“Yes.” He touched my chin, caressing it smoothly. I see how his eyes desire to meet mine. He’s giving me a coolest, sweetest smile. He got me for real!

“Ba’t wala akong nararamdaman?” I was perplexed.

-“Nararamdaman, what?”

“My phobia!” I hysterical. “May phobia ako sa mga lalaki. IKAW! OO, IKAW!”

-“Shh!” He tried to zip my lips, calming me. “I’m here, Cloven… From now on, you’ll be safe.”

He decided to cuffed my face and in a matter of seconds, he tried to touch his lips to mine.

We kissed.

And it tasted like sweets...

Tasted like a forbidden heaven.

“Wait? Pano mo nalaman ang pangalan ko???” I asked with  the Nth level of curiosity.

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“BEEP!”

My phone got vibrated. I suddenly arose from bed, bathing with sweats.

Quickly, I scanned my room, assuring if that shit was only a dream.

“NYETA!  ANONG NANGYAYARI SA’YO, CLOVEN?!” I successively slapped my face, trying to fully got back my sanity. “SINASAPIAN KA ‘ATA?!”

Afterwards, I got my phone located at the mini-table beside my foamy bed. I really owed this little phone of mine for waking me up to that bad, disgusting dream.

Well, honestly, I found love as a stupid priority. To what I witnessed in reality, there was no naïve straight-man who would willingly fell in love to a simple, nerdy gay. Perhaps, that would be only a greatest illusion that had been exploded to the entire universe—giving so much false hopes to the community which somehow, I belong to.

As I handed my phone, I saw a lot of notifications from my social media accounts. I forgot to turn-off the Wi-Fi connection that was why this sh*t happened.

Reading some of the notifications, I suddenly halted to my peaceful scrolling.

[Keizer Andre Alvarez wants to accept you his friend request.]

“Keizer Andre Alvarez?” Back of my mind said.

As I clicked it and saw this guy profile picture.

“PUNYETA, CLOVEN! SINASAPIAN KA NGA!”

(P.S. Na-triggered ba kayo sa chapter na'to? Vote na! #kmjs15 charoot😂)