The Unsafe Haven

Chapter 3

“So, the history of the English language started when the three Germanic tribes: The Angles, Saxons and Jutes had conquered the British Isles. Tama ba, Ghorl?”

I suddenly startled when Jess gave me a super examined look; I never knew he’s talking about our assignment.

“Nyeta, Cloven! Wag mo na syang isipin!”

I abruptly set aside my phone and opened my laptop, starting to pay attention on our assignment.

I went here at Jess's house for our school stuff, not for thinking about that sh*tty friend request.

As I focused myself in working the certain assignment, I had never noticed that Jess checked out my phone. And to not expect, he saw what I had been overthinking then.

“Keizer Andre Alvarez…hmm!” He mouthed while nodding as if he knew this hazel-brown-eyed guy.

“K-kilala mo siya?” I abruptly questioned Jess.

“Yesterday!”

“Anong kahapon?”

“OO, BAKLA!”

He stood up from the floor where we were doing our stuffs. With confident gestures, he unleashed the maroon-thickened curtain, presenting his room’s window.

“Tingnan mo!” He convinced me.

My perplexity brought me to stand up, heading to that window. And as I headed near, I saw a contemporary white mansion.

“Diyan siya nakatira, Ghorl!” Jess whispered and give me a cringey smirked.

I couldn’t believe what was happening!

Jess and the nuisance hazel-brown-eyed guy who never stop asking my apology were totally freaking neighbors!

“Alam mo, Ghorl…I’m supahdupah tenkpul na magkapit-bahay kami! Alam mo na?”

“What. A. Small. World…” I jaw-droppingly uttered. I heard how Jess chuckled to my reaction.

“Yes, small world nga pero t-teka?” He looked at me with crossed eyebrows. “May naamoy akong kaharutan? Cloven… why on earth he asked a friend request from you? Hmm, jowa ka ba niya? Kerida? Kabit? Mistress?” He annoyingly questioned.

The word “JOWA” only made me totally freaked out.

“NO!!! H-HINDI KAMI! AT MALABONG MAGING KAMI!” I protested. “Di ko siya type! YUCK!”

“So, ano ghorl?”

I composed myself then tell Jess the shitty-lame story how we crossed our paths.

“Sa iyo ko lang ‘to sasabihin—”

“Sekreto ba’to, Ghorl?”

I gave him a pissed-off smile. “Ano pa nga ba?”

“Okay okay sige… ano yun?”

I continued the story.

“I met him when he suddenly stopped me in a street heading to the campus. He was asking for a ride in my bicycle ‘coz he was late. I accepted his sorry since I stumbled on the ground but I don’t know if he wasn’t contented with that, as he still asking my apology and being a nuisance in my life,” I heaved a deep sighed, “Now, he’s trying to meddle my life online. What would I do?”

I saw how Jess became silent for a moment; contemplating every bit of my sh*tty story.

“Extemporaneous ka, Ghorl? Grabe naman English mo! Bicycle lang ang naintindihan ko pramis!”

I didn’t know if his really a good partner and a friend? Perhaps he would received so much annoying faces and smirked if really God destined us to be college buddies.

“Ito naman! Smile lang, Ghorl! Well, I guess, sa istorya mo, he wants you to be his friend and—” he theorized.

“AYOKO!”, I interrupted, I knew this was rude again but I didn't know? Sometimes, I was like this.

“Hindi ko siya gusto maging kaibigan!” I continued.

“Ba’t naman, Ghorl?” He said and walked to where our laptops placed, and started typing. "Gwapo at hot siya! Ugh! Swerte ka nga dahil siya ang naghahabol sa'yo noh! Jackpot ka, Bakla!"

I just only shut my mouth. I didn't care if he was tailing at me or whatsoever! And besides, that wasn't being fortunate, being jinxed instead.

"Mabait naman ata siya, Ghorl? So, i-accept mo na." He convinced me.

I knew I promised to myself that when I entered university, I'll face my fears--my phobia--by making the world as my safe haven yet I didn't see this "Keizer-Alvarez" as a potential one. I knew I'm being picky but I didn't trust him. He would be that 'unsafe haven' then.

“Ghorl? To tell you honestly, may pagka-anti-social din ako before. Alam mo 'yun? Avoiding the crowds because of being effeminate puwera lang ang pagiging silently malandi charoot!”

After hearing his story, I didn’t know if I still believe. Perhaps, this was one of the struggles in befriending funny people--you really don’t know if their stories were real or not.

"Pero Ghorl, share ko lang.‘Nung nag-highschool ako, nagdesisyon talaga ako mamuhay ng normal… And that was the best decision that I made for...Ang maging matapang tanggapin ang pagkatao ko. Kaya, it’s time live yours too!”

I didn’t know what I heard from Jess’s mouth; I knew that that wasn’t funny after all.

It was something that every letter of his words tickled my very core. I stared for a while, silently thinking.

“Continue na tayo, ghorl? Ang assignment natin oh? Naghihintay.” He cut-off.

I just nodded and went to finish what we had started.

-------

I was lying on my bed; devoured to what Jess said earlier about my social avoidance. I knew it’s a double hard—first, it’s hard to flaunt my truest gender then second, it’s hard to make friends as this androphobia’s killing me.

I grabbed my phone and opened my Facebook account. I quickly went to the friend’s request section.

“Keizer Andre Alvarez…” I pronounced his name with a modulation that I was the one who could only heard.

“Cloven, kailangan mong maging friendly, okay? Maybe this guy sees you as a potential friend, you know? Kaya, i-accept mo na siya.” I convinced myself then suddenly got up. “Pero diba? May phobia ka sa mga kaedaran mong lalaki? Remember?... Di ka magiging magandang kaibigan dahil sa kondisyon mo kaya kailangan mo nang i-delete ang friend request niya. Solved!”

I glanced on my phone, contemplating to click the delete request icon.

“Kaya, it’s time to live yours too!”

“It’s time to live yours too!”

“Time to live yours too!”

Jess’s words kept on echoing in my head as if he was the good angel.  I closed my eyes, still overthinking on that friend request.

It was like I’m having a greatest decision that would ultimately change my entire life. Surge of questions were still popping like fast-paced bullets in my head. No doubts that it really occupied me helplessly.

“Ba’t ka pa umabot dito, Cloven?”

“Will you accept his request or reject it either?”

“Lord, enlighten me please!!!”

(P.S. Vote na mga ses para ganahan ako mag-update.😂)