Totally All Yours

2

You and Chrollo have a really bad argument.

It's pouring down rain. So loud it sounds like rocks are being dropped onto the wooden porch to the cabin home I share with Chrollo. I stand in front of him with my arms crossed as he wipes another droplet of blood from his face with the dampened towel in his hand.

"Why can't we just be a normal couple Chrollo? Why do you have to keep doing these things to people?" He sighed as he got up to walk away from me.

"How do you think we're able to live like this? Now tell me you want me to stop." He awaited my answer and placed his hands behind his back.

"I want you to stop. I don't care about this house, I don't care if we go broke! I want you to just get a normal job and we live like normal people. That's what I want!" I shouted at him because he seemed not to understand my point.

"Well you can't have it! I've risked my life to make a living so you can keep your hands clean and this is the thanks I get?" He said with anger in his voice.

"And what do you think? After all I've done I can just go into any establishment and say woopdey doo I want a freaking job!?" He threw his arms out to his sides to emphasize his point.

"Chrollo I never asked you to do any killing for me. And if this is how this conversation is gonna go again then you can just leave." He scoffed and ran a hand through his layered black hair.

"I'm not leaving, "He said.

Yes, we've had this argument before. I think there's more to Chrollo's attitude than him just trying to keep us in this nice cabin and living comfortably.

"No, because I think there's more to it..." I said, causing him to scrunch his eyebrows together.

"What are you talking about?"

"You enjoy it don't you?" My breathing quickened as I thought deeper on the matter at hand.

"You enjoy watching people suffer under your hand." He was silent. Not even trying to defend himself.

"Do you?" I asked him.

"Do I what?" He asked. And he did so, so coldly.

"Do you enjoy it!?" As I shouted, he flung a candlestick off of the table in front of him and walked toward the front door. He grabbed the handle and squeezed it so tightly that his fist turned pale.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, but you should have it fixed before I get back." He opened the door to exit as I decided to shout at him.

"Don't come back!" By the time I finished, the door was already shut. So I ran over to the front door and opened it. And I watched him get into his car and reverse out of the driveway so quickly he knocked over the trash cans at the end of it.

I watched him pull off, his tires skidding the road as he did. As he sped off I was on the verge of tears. I didn't want him to leave. But I can't live with a cold-blooded murderer which I am slowly accepting that he is.

As I turned to go back inside, my heart sank. I heard a sudden crash from what sounded like down the road.

"Please no, " I said to myself as I began throwing on my shoes and jacket.

As I flung myself outside I ran to the middle of our street where I saw a stream of smoke.

I ran down the road not caring that my shoes were getting soaked, and I saw his car bent around a tree. 

It was then that I felt everything in my body sink into the ground beneath me. My chest pounded, and slowly the sound of the rain falling and the car hissing drowned out and there was nothing but my heartbeat ringing in my ears.

I ran down to him and attempted to pull the driver's side door open. It was jammed, but after placing my foot on the back driver-side door and pulling with all my strength, I finally got it opened. And there he lay with blooded spilling down his head, covering his eye and part of his mouth. I pulled him out and laid his head on my lap attempting to wake him up.

"Chrollo!?" I said loudly over the heavy rain. He didn't respond.

I checked his pulse on his wrist and neck but nothing was felt. I was trying to convince myself that it was just too much happening for me to feel nothing but I knew he was gone. His chest neither rose nor fell. And despite what happened between us moments before this, my soul crumbled within me.

...

It has felt like this hour has gone by so slowly. His body lay so still in my arms. The rain has washed away most of the blood on his face, allowing me to run my fingers over his face without them staining red. If only I could have held him like this with nothing but love in me before. But I was so filled with guilt knowing the things he did to sustain our livelihood, that sleeping with him felt like the hardest thing to do at night. And even though I have come to hate what I am feeling in these last moments, it's only now that he's gone that I can truly feel what I wanted with him. Peace.