A Good Thing

-severed-

Chapter 5
-severed-

Din awoke to the now familiar sound of tiny claws tapping against his helmet. A slow, sleepy grin turned up the corners of his mouth as he looked down at the kid, perched expectantly on his chest. 

His son. 

Realizing he had succeeded in waking Din, long ears perked up and a string of unintelligible babbling erupted. He listened, muttering along at all of the appropriate seeming places as he stretched his neck from side to side and rolled his right shoulder. 

"I take it you're ready for breakfast?"

Chuckling softly, he nudged the kid onto his lap as he sat up. 

"It's been nice, huh? Regular meals and good sleep. I hope you're not being too spoiled." Din ran an ungloved finger over his wrinkled head and looked around the barn. "We don't live this well on the Crest, do we."

They'd been there for four weeks. He knew he was only delaying the inevitable. Every day they lingered, every afternoon with Winta and the kid together, every evening spent in Omera’s company made him want to prolong their departure indefinitely. He just needed to leave, sever the ties to this place that strengthened every day once and for all. Before they were too strong and he couldn't.

For the first time in his life, Din chafed against his creed. He wanted things he couldn’t have without betraying the vows he'd sworn to the people that had rescued and raised him. Considering what his clan had sacrificed for him, guilt over these new feelings ate at him whenever he was alone with his thoughts. 

Omera hadn't mentioned it again after he'd come so close to letting her remove his helmet before he'd left the first time, but he thought she might want to. After their conversation a week ago about her past, it seemed like any remaining walls she'd had up around him had come down. No longer hiding half of her life, half of herself from him, she had stopped holding back or letting conversations die when they wondered too close to old scars. Two nights ago she’d told him stories from her time with the rebellion and Din was surprised to realize how little he knew about the important goings on during the war. 

She was more free with casual touches too after the first time that night. A slender hand would lightly rest on his vambrace as she wished him goodnight. Her elbow would bump into his now and then as they walked together around the village. 

It was probably a mistake to allow it but he couldn’t bring himself to stop her. He enjoyed it too much. All of it. How easy it was to talk to her when he’d never had much to say before and the way she wasn't afraid to touch him. Kriff, he wanted so badly to touch her back. To thread his bare hands with hers, to trace his thumb down the side of her face and twine his fingers in her hair...

He needed to leave before he did something he couldn't take back. 

Impatient claws tugged suddenly at his arm, demanding his attention and bringing his focus back to the hungry womp rat in his lap.

"Sorry buddy, I guess we better get going before Winta starts to worry."

A happy chirp and more tugging had Din on his feet. 

"I know, we'll get you some food and find your favorite person." This time his babbling was subdued and Din’s heart clenched when he felt a soft head and ears tickle the exposed sliver of skin beneath his helmet. His little claws clung to him so tight that Din’s other hand went up to hold him closer too of its own accord. Beneath his visor, Din had to blink rapidly against a sudden and unfamiliar burning in his eyes and his voice broke a little when he spoke. 

"Hey kid, I… Your second favorite person, then."

When he pulled back so they could look at each other again, he realized with sudden, painful clarity what he had almost said. He loved him. The kid had found a gap in the beskar he'd built up around his heart and wormed his way in, leaving it open and defenseless in his wake. How the hell was he supposed to give him up to some Jedi now? Dread pooled in his gut at the thought.