HATE ME

Sometimes the fear of loss, is the cause of hate.

My boyfriend ran up to me at lunch, "(Y-n), baby, are you okay? Hoseok hyung told me you and Lisa got in a fight earlier." He moved to hug me, but I pushed him away. He stared at me, shock and hurt forming in his beautiful chocolate eyes I loved so much.

"Baby, what-"

"Let's break up, Taehyung." I said, coldly. 

"I- what? Come on, don't joke about that."

"Let's break up." I repeated , not wavering in the slightest, "I never liked you. I was just using you for the popularity. I cheated on you, by the way. More than once, they were a good fuck."

He stared at me, slack jawed. Speechless.

I'm lying. I'm lying about it all. I'm so sorry. I love you, but that's why I have to do this. Hate me, please. For me, Hyungie.

"W-what? I don't underst-"

"Are you that fucking dumb, Kim?"

I could see it in his eyes. He knew this was real when I called him by his last name.

"We're over, Kim. Go cry to your mommy." I mocked him despite the overwhelming sorrow and grief pulsing through my veins.

His face hardened.

That's right. Hate me. Come on. Yell at me. Hit me. Push me. Hate me, please.

"My mother's dead, you know that." 

I gasped in babied shock, "Oh no, are you gwonna cwy now? Poor baby." I pouted.

He lunged at me, tears in his eyes, but Yoongi and Namjoon quickly grabbed onto him.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Yoongi yelled at me.

He's never raised his voice at me before. Thank you.

"Me?? What's wrong with you? Why don't you go shove some more coke up your nose and fuck Namjoon while you're at it. He'll love that."

Tears filled both boys eyes. 

Yoongi struggled with drugs a lot, but has been clean with my help. And Namjoon is gay. His biggest fear was people finding out. He trusted me with his secret.

I smiled and raised my middle fingers to the three, slowly backing out of the room.

I didn't see it coming, but I wouldn't have tried to stop him anyway. Jungkook lunged at me from the side. Rage filled his eyes as he punched me, holding me down with his weight and free hand. "How could you say those things?! To them of all people!"

I chuckled, despite the pain. 

I deserve it. Hit me again.

"You sure you wanna play, kookie? Why didn't you just join your mom and dad, huh? It's your fault they're dead."

I don't mean that. 

"How's your suicidal thoughts been lately?"

"I trusted you with that!" He punched me again.

Thank you. Convince the others to hate me as much as you do, Kookie. Please. I'm so sorry.

I felt my jaw crack painfully at the force of Jungkooks last hit before a couple teachers pulled him off me.

I stared numbly at the ceiling of the cafeteria. The pain in my jaw was nothing compared to the way they looked at me. It was agonizing. I slapped away the teachers hand, that attempted to help me up, and stood myself, smirking at their angry and hurt faces. I spit blood at their feet and left, hearing them scream profanities at me as I walked away.

I went home early. The pain in my chest and head has been getting worse throughout the day periodically.