JJBA Villain One Shot Compilation

Episode 2 - Yoshikage Kira

You're washing your hands after a good fun time in the latrine when you heard the shower curtain SHANK open. "Damn shorty," a melodious, soothing baritone wafts through the air. "Those are some bonafide yaoi hands you got there."

Your head turns 360 degrees in a quest for the noise. Yoshikage Kira glides through your shower curtain like a starman waiting in the sky. "I said those are some bonafide yaoi hands. Mind if I slap 'em?"

Yoshikage Kira draws a small pocket comb from his pants and tenderly brushes the hair of your knuckles. His ocular orbs, bluer than Windex, bore into yours like twin ion cannons.

"Ay yo, is that a flashlight?" You nod. You had it on your toilet tank so you could walk back to your room without shitting your pants for fear of the wiggity whack shadow demons.

"Can I see it?" Duh he can, fine feller like that deserves a good flashlight. Kira stares at it. He shakes it. Then all of a sudden, he does a pirouette and shoves it up his ass.

"YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES, IF I WAS A FIREFLY," Kira crouches like Gollum on your countertop. In terror, you try to flee, but Hello Kitty has already given your doorknob the good boop.

"WHERE YA GOING, YOU WHORE?" shrills Kira. "I'M A FUCKING FIREFLY. CUP ME IN YOUR SOFT, MAYONAISSE COLORED HANDS AND LEAVE ME TO SUFFOCATE IN A JELLY JAR."

You charge like a bull through your door and run down the dark winding corridors of your house. You can see Kira's glowing ass skittering through the halls.

Ah, yes! You had forgotten! The bear trap under the kitchen sink! You whip one out and bait it with some raw meat of indistinguishable origin.

Kira creeps into the kitchen in macabre mockery of arachnia, hissing like a cat. Kira furry lmao. He springs at the meat but MISSES and comes straight for your sexy hands.

Suddenly, GOODBYEEEEE HANDS. You chase kira, but it is too late. He squeezes his body down the bathtub drain and vanishes down the pipes. He is surprisingly swole for a man whose only form of exercise is stretching for twenty minutes every day. Maybe I should start stretching for twenty minutes every day. Hot damn.

Will you ever recover your hands? How long will that flashlight stay in Kira's ass? Find out next time on the discovery channel.