Nightmares / Hunter x Hunter One Shot / Fanfiction / Family AU

Ending Two

Authors Note: This is not a ship and is not meant to be romantic in any way :)

Killua felt himself jolt awake, a cold feeling surging through his body. For a moment, he swore he couldn't breathe. He stared up at the ceiling, gasping for air.
As he remembered his dream, icy fingers of anxiety ran up his back. Killua lifted his shaky hands to his face, covering his eyes as he squeezed them shut, trying to suppress the memories of the nightmare.
Killua tried to calm his breathing; if he was too loud he would wake Gon, who was sleeping in the bunk bed underneath him. Killua shakily inhaled and exhaled. Why did breathing feel so difficult? He was an ex-assassin, and he knew how to make his breathing calm and undetectable when needed. So then why wouldn't that technique work right now? Killua's chest felt tight as he tried to swallow his fears.
Once he felt as though his breathing was more controlled, Killua pulled his hands away from his face. He sat up in bed slowly. Killua looked down at his shaking hands, clenched into tight fists. Now that he was sitting up, he realized he was drenched in sweat.
Killua blinked, looking around the dark room to remind himself that he was awake and in his home. Still, the chilling feeling of his family's eyes watching seemed to remain. He repressed that feeling, reminding himself it wasn't real.
As he gazed out of his bed, he felt himself wake up a little more. He was home, with his friends. Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio were all with him. Killua was safe.
A bird sounded its call from outside, causing Killua to jump a little. Instinctively, Killua stared over at the open window, concealing his presence. After a second, he quickly snapped out of it, reminding himself that he was safe in his home.
I still have the assassin instincts.
Once again, his dream came rushing back to him, feeling the sensation of blood on his hands. Killua inhaled sharply, wringing out his hands in an attempt to shake off the imaginary feeling.
"That's because you are still an assassin," Illumi's voice rang in Killua's head.
Killua tried to focus on anything other than his nightmare as he closed his eyes. But all he could think about was the dream.
Blood dripping off his claws.
The eyes of his family watching him.
The sinking feeling in his stomach.
And the image of Gon's dead body.
Killua bit his lip, repressing tears. His head started to pound.
I still think like an assassin. I could still kill Gon.
"You know you want to. And you will eventually," Killua could still hear Illumi's voice so clearly.
He choked back tears, pure anxiety buzzing through his body. The pain from his dream all felt so real. A tear slowly rolled down Killua's face, but he quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand.
No. I will never hurt Gon.
Although Killua assured himself of this, the pain in his chest remained. He opened his eyes, trying to snap himself back into reality. He stared out at the window. It was open and a gentle breeze allowed the night air to flow into the room. If he listened hard enough, Killua could hear the subtle noises of the forest at night. Gon always insisted on keeping their window open, and Killua didn't mind.
After a moment, Killua looked down at his hands, noticing they weren't shaking as much. Taking a deep breath, he slowly and quietly crawled over to the ladder. He held onto the metal bars of the bed, cautiously letting his foot down until it touched a step. He climbed down the ladder silently, making sure to be quiet as his feet touched the floor.
For a moment, Killua stared at Gon, who was sleeping on the bottom bunk bed. Gon's hand rested on his pillow next to his face, lips parted slightly. Killua could hear Gon's steady breathing as he slept.
Killua made his way over to the bedroom door, slipping out without making a noise. He stepped out of the carpeted room and onto the cold wooden floor outside. He scanned the den area, still messy from when Killua was playing video games with Gon a few hours ago. The controllers sat on the couch, along with empty wrappers from snacks.
Killua felt the cold night air biting at his arms, and he itched to go back into his warm bed. But he knew he wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep if he did. He glanced at the clock on the wall; it was just past 2 AM.
He looked across the room at Leorio's bedroom door, noticing a faint light coming from the crack under the door. Was Leorio awake? It was so late (or early). Killua figured if he was going to bother someone, it might as well be someone who was probably already awake.
Killua walked towards Leorio's room, stopping in front of the door to listen. He didn't hear much.
Reluctantly, Killua turned the door handle. He opened it slightly, peering in. Leorio was hunched over at his desk, the desk lamp dimly illuminating the room. Killua slipped into the room, silently making his way over to Leorio.
A large book was open on the desk along with a binder filled with papers. Leorio twirled a pencil between his fingers as he stared down at the textbook intently.
Killua hesitated, before speaking in a slightly shaking voice, "Leorio?"
"AH-" Leorio jumped a little, quickly turning to look at Killua, "Damn, you scared the life out of me! Where did you come from?"
Killua looked down at his feet, feeling a little ashamed. He always walked soundlessly, he was trained to be that way by his family. It just sort of stuck with him, causing him to constantly startle people by "appearing out of nowhere."
"I just... I guess I can't sleep. So I figured I would come to you," Killua mumbled. He felt guilty because he realized he probably interrupted Leorio as he was doing schoolwork.
Leorio's expression softened, "Oh, I see..."
After a moment, Leorio got up from his desk. He stretched a little, then looked down at Killua.
"Do you want melatonin?" Leorio asked. Killua shook his head 'no.'
"Melatonin doesn't really work for me."
"Oh, right, ex-assassin..." Leorio mumbled. "Hey, you don't look too good, are you alright?"
Killua hesitated, wondering if he should just go back to his room. He didn't want to interrupt Leorio's schoolwork and he knew he probably looked like a baby.
"Well, I had a nightmare... so, uh..." Killua said trailing off.
"Oh, another one? Jeez, you poor thing..." Leorio placed a hand on Killua's shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.
Killua bit his lip. He couldn't tell anyone about that dream- never. They would think he was a monster. Killua quickly shook his head.
"Alright... well, you should know you can always talk to me, Killua," Leorio reassured.
Killua nodded. The familiar feeling of being a helpless child seeped into Killua. He could do things on his own, he didn't need his friends babying him. So then, why did he always find himself coming back to them for help?
"Here, why don't you sit down," Leorio gently guided Killua to his unmade bed. Killua sat down and looked up at Leorio.
"I know you have trouble falling asleep alone. So why don't you fall asleep here with me while I work on school?" Leorio lifted a small blanket, carefully placing it around Killua's shoulders.
As Killua stared up at Leorio, the sensation of a soft warmth he often felt around his friends filled his chest. The feeling of someone caring for you, something Killua had only recently experienced. The shame and guilt began to wash away.
Killua felt the corners of his mouth lift a little, and he gave a gentle nod.
"I'll be right back," Leorio quietly slipped out of the room, leaving Killua sitting on his bed alone in the dimly lit room. The blanket Leorio had placed on Killua slipped down a little, and Killua pulled it back up to his shoulders again.
After a minute, Leorio returned, holding a glass of water.
"Here," he said, handing it to Killua.
"Is it too cold in here? Or too hot?" Leorio asked as Killua sipped the water.
"No, it's fine," Killua responded, placing the glass on Leorio's nightstand.
"Do you need anything?" Leorio asked, kneeling so he met Killua's eye level. Killua shook his head.
"Okay then. Goodnight, Killua," Leorio slowly embraced Killua into a gentle hug. Instantly, Killua felt any anxiety he had left slip away. Killua hesitantly hugged Leorio back, nuzzling his face into his shoulder.
After a moment, Leorio pulled away from Killua, and carefully pushed Killua to lay down by his shoulders.
"You can come to me whenever you can't sleep, okay? It never bothers me, you know," Leorio said softly as he pulled the covers over Killua. Killua could already feel himself slipping back into sleep.
"Is it fine if this light stays on?" Leorio asked as he sat back down at his desk.
"Mhm," Killua responded, holding back a yawn. He had completely forgotten about his nightmare as he felt his eyes slowly close.

. . .

Leorio yawned, hardly able to keep his eyes open any longer. He groggily glanced at the time on his phone; it was just past 3 AM. He had to be up for school in four hours. He had just finished his assignments that were due later that day. Leorio closed his textbook and binder, stacking them on top of each other and placing his pens back into the cupholder on his desk. He turned off the desk lamp, stretching as he stood up.
He had almost forgotten about Killua sleeping in his bed as Leorio walked over. The boy slept peacefully, his messy white hair falling into his eyes. Leorio sighed, knowing he had to take Killua back to his bed. The two of them couldn't fit into Leorio's bed, and Leorio didn't want to wake Killua when he got up in the morning for school.
Leorio uncovered Killua, carefully scooping him up out of the bed. Killua's head rested on Leorio's shoulder, and Leorio felt Killua squeeze him a little. Killua mumbled a little in his sleep. Leorio smiled to himself.
Killua was very light and easy to lift. Leorio often had to carry the boys back to their bed when they fell asleep anywhere else; the living room, the car, the den... Leorio could carry both of them at the same time, one in each arm. He secretly loved carrying them to bed, it always made him feel as if he was their dad, a thought he found a lot of comfort in.
Leorio opened the door, making his way through the den and over to the master bedroom; the room Killua and Gon shared. He stopped to open the door as quietly as possible and slipped into the room. Gon was notorious for waking up easily, and Leorio didn't want that to happen. Leorio squinted in the dark, trying not to trip over or step on anything on the messy floor.
As Leorio made it to their bunk bed, he glanced at Gon, hoping he was still asleep. Luckily he was.
Now for the hard part, getting Killua into the top bunk. Leorio had done it many times before. It wouldn't be so difficult if Gon wasn't sleeping on the bottom bunk, as Leorio had to do this soundlessly. Leorio held Killua with one hand, and gripped the ladder with the other, climbing up a few steps. He gently laid Killua on his bed, covering him up with the blankets. Killua was still fast asleep.
Leorio looked at Killua for a moment, smiling a little at the sleeping figure. Leorio hoped he was sleeping well, and not having any nightmares. The poor boy had nightmares often, waking up traumatized. Kurapika had told Leorio about all the times Killua had come into Kurapika's room late at night. Leorio also knew that Killua would often curl up in bed with Gon, which he thought was adorable.
Even though it was sad that Killua had nightmares, Leorio was glad that Killua trusted the others enough to ask for help. It made him feel like he was successful as their parental figure. But Leorio knew it wouldn't last forever, and eventually Killua would stop coming to him for comfort at night. That's why Leorio cherished these precious moments.
As Leorio climbed back down the ladder, he heard Gon move a little in his bed. Leorio looked over to see Gon's eyes fluttering open.
"Leorio?" he mumbled sleepily.
"Oh, uh, sorry I woke you, Gon. Just go back to sleep, okay?" Leorio said softly.
"Okay," Gon said, already falling back to sleep.
"Goodnight," Leorio whispered, adjusting Gon's covers as he lulled back to sleep.
Leorio sighed looking at the two boys sleeping in tranquility in their beds. Leorio loved taking care of them. Although it was quite difficult to practically be a parent while also in medical school, Leorio didn't mind. He would choose his friends over school anytime if he had to.
Leorio had felt attached to the two boys ever since the Hunter Exam. After learning about both of their family situations, Leorio took it upon himself to be their "new dad." He would do anything for his makeshift family. He always dreamed about being a dad.
He couldn't wait until the day that he had his own kids. He hoped to raise them alongside Kurapika, but he didn't want to get too ahead of himself. For now, Gon and Killua were his sons.
Although, Leorio knew they weren't his real children. Someday, he would have to let go of them. Sooner or later Gon and Killua would decide they didn't want to live with Leorio and Kurapika anymore. There was a good chance Gon would go back to live on Whale Island. As for Killua, Leorio had a feeling he wouldn't return to his family anytime soon.
Leorio tried not to think about that too much as he dreaded that day. But he knew they would always be friends.
Leorio sighed, turning around to return to his bedroom. He was unbelievably tired and knew the next day was going to be a drag, running on four hours of sleep. But at least he got to have a special moment with Killua and he would submit his finished assignment on time.