Nightmares / Hunter x Hunter One Shot / Fanfiction / Family AU

Ending Three

Killua felt himself jolt awake, a cold feeling surging through his body. For a moment, he swore he couldn't breathe. He stared up at the ceiling, gasping for air.
    As he remembered his dream, icy fingers of anxiety ran up his back. Killua lifted his shaky hands to his face, covering his eyes as he squeezed them shut, trying to suppress the memories of the nightmare.
Killua tried to calm his breathing; if he was too loud he would wake Gon, who was sleeping in the bunk bed underneath him. Killua shakily inhaled and exhaled. Why did breathing feel so difficult? He was an ex-assassin, and he knew how to make his breathing calm and undetectable when needed. So then why wouldn't that technique work right now? Killua's chest felt tight as he tried to swallow his fears.
Once he felt as though his breathing was more controlled, Killua pulled his hands away from his face. He sat up in bed slowly. Killua looked down at his shaking hands, clenched into tight fists. Now that he was sitting up, he realized he was drenched in sweat.
Killua blinked, looking around the dark room to remind himself that he was awake and in his home. Still, the chilling feeling of his family's eyes watching seemed to remain. He repressed that feeling, reminding himself it wasn't real.
As he gazed out of his bed, he felt himself wake up a little more. He was home, with his friends. Gon, Kurapika, and Leorio were all with him. Killua was safe.
A bird sounded its call from outside, causing Killua to jump a little. Instinctively, Killua stared over at the open window, concealing his presence. After a second, he quickly snapped out of it, reminding himself that he was safe in his home.
I still have the assassin instincts.
Once again, his dream came rushing back to him, feeling the sensation of blood on his hands. Killua inhaled sharply, wringing out his hands in an attempt to shake off the imaginary feeling.
"That's because you are still an assassin," Illumi's voice rang in Killua's head.
Killua tried to focus on anything other than his nightmare as he closed his eyes. But all he could think about was the dream.
Blood dripping off his claws.
The eyes of his family watching him.
The sinking feeling in his stomach.
And the image of Gon's dead body.
Killua bit his lip, repressing tears. His head started to pound.
I still think like an assassin. I could still kill Gon.
"You know you want to. And you will eventually," Killua could still hear Illumi's voice so clearly.
He choked back tears, pure anxiety buzzing through his body. The pain from his dream all felt so real. A tear slowly rolled down Killua's face, but he quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand.
No. I will never hurt Gon.
Although Killua assured himself of this, the pain in his chest remained. He opened his eyes, trying to snap himself back into reality. He stared out at the window. It was open and a gentle breeze allowed the night air to flow into the room. If he listened hard enough, Killua could hear the subtle noises of the forest at night. Gon always insisted on keeping their window open, and Killua didn't mind.
After a moment, Killua looked down at his hands, noticing they weren't shaking as much. Taking a deep breath, he slowly and quietly crawled over to the ladder. He held onto the metal bars of the bed, cautiously letting his foot down until it touched a step. He climbed down the ladder silently, making sure to be quiet as his feet touched the floor.
For a moment, Killua stared at Gon, who was sleeping on the bottom bunk bed. Gon's hand rested on his pillow next to his face, lips parted slightly. Killua could hear Gon's steady breathing as he slept.
Killua felt a straining pull in his heart seeing Gon sleeping there peaceful and safe. The anxiety from his nightmare began the seep away.
A cold breeze blew in from the open window, nipping at Killua's arms. A shiver went down his spine as he stood at the end of the bed. Killua craved the warmth of another person, needing to fill the cold, lonely void left in his chest from the dream. 
Killua sat on the foot of Gon's bed, slowly crawling towards the sleeping boy. He stopped once he reached Gon. He hesitantly reached his hand out to touch Gon in an attempt to wake him. But before Killua's hand could meet his skin, Gon's eyes fluttered open.
Gon looked over at Killua, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. Killua sat back a little. He sort of expected this- it took hardly anything to wake Gon. Gon sat up, blinking as he looked at Killua.
"Killua?" Gon half-whispered.
"Gon..." Killua said under his breath. Killua didn't want to tell Gon he had a nightmare, as he might start crying. Just thinking about the dream made Killua tear up. Killua looked down, hoping Gon didn't see the tears welling up.
"Did you have a bad dream?" Gon said softly, moving a little closer to Killua. Killua nodded.
Gon reached out, tenderly touching Killua's arms and pulling him closer. Killua gave in, wrapping his arms around Gon's waist. He nuzzled his face into Gon, trying to hide his tears.
"It's okay, Killua," Gon squeezed Killua gently. "Your safe here with me. And Kurapika and Leorio."
Killua felt all his worries slip away as Gon held him. Killua no longer felt cold in Gon's warm arms.
"You never have to worry or be sad, okay? Because no matter what happens, Leorio, Kurapika, and I will protect you," Gon whispered, his voice close to Killua's ear.
But what if I was the one hurting you? 
Killua couldn't hold back anymore as he felt tears roll out of his eyes. Gon must have noticed, as he seemed to hug Killlua tighter. Gon repositioned himself to lay down, making sure to continue holding on to Killua.
"It's okay to cry," Gon said, his voice barely a whisper.
I'm safe and Gon is safe. I will never hurt him. I'm right here next to him, and I always will be. We're going to be okay.
Although Killua felt safest and happiest in Gon's arms, tears still streamed down his face. He wasn't sure why, but it didn't matter anyway since they didn't seem to stop coming.
Killua rested his head onto Gon's chest, feeling his body completely relax. Gon slowly intertwined his fingers into Killua's, tenderly holding his hand. Killua squeezed Gon's hand a little. Killua could feel the steady rise and fall of Gon's chest as he breathed.
After a moment, the tears stopped. Killua's breathing became more steady, and as it did he could feel himself becoming more tired. Killua noticed that he could hear Gon's heartbeat, and found comfort in the noise. A wave of tranquility washed over him. Killua could feel the warm hands of comfort cupping his heart and he laid with Gon.
Based on Gon's breathing and heartbeat, Killua could tell Gon was still wide awake. Killua fought to keep his eyes open but failed as they drooped shut.

. . .

Gon stared out of the window, listening to the quiet bustle of nocturnal creatures in the distance. The noise would be undetectable to most people, but Gon could hear it. He loved listening to nature, no matter where or what time of day it was.
After a moment, Gon redirected his focus on Killua, who was laying on his chest asleep. Gon noticed that Killua had been asleep for a couple of minutes. Killua's cheeks were still damp with tears. Gon could feel a warm buzz of happiness in his limbs as he held the boy. He smiled to himself, resisting the urge to squeeze Killua into a tight hug. Instead, he squeezed Killua's hand a little.
This wasn't the first time this happened. In fact, Killua came to lay with Gon at night quite often. It never bothered Gon, for he actually loved it. Getting to hold to usually guarded-and-solitude-Killua like a baby was quite special.
Using his free hand, Gon carefully covered Killua and himself with the blankets, then replaced his hand gently back onto Killua's waist.
He often wondered what it was Killua dreamed about. Killua never once told Gon about his nightmares. Gon was quite curious but didn't try to bother Killua about it too much. Anytime he did bring it up, Killua hastily pushed it aside.
Gon wished he could know what troubled Killua so much. He wanted to be able to help more. But for now, hugging him and reassuring him at night was all he could do.
Looking down at Killua once again, Gon could feel the warm and joyful, almost painful, feeling in his heart that he often got around Killua. Being with Killua made Gon feel a different kind of happiness. He had always assumed that it was the feeling of true friendship since Killua was Gon's first-ever friend his age. The more it happened, and the more strange feelings he felt around Killua, the more he couldn't help but think it was different.
Gon loved Killua, that was a fact he knew. But he didn't understand how much or in what way, or how it would compare to how other people experienced love. Could it be in the same way Leorio and Kurapika loved each other? He wasn't sure, and it was all a bit too complicated for him to understand. Gon liked to stay close to Killua so he could experience the happy feeling he got in his chest when he was around Killua. Sometimes he could feel it deep down in his stomach, too, fluttering around like butterflies. He often wondered if Killua felt things like that too, but never bothered to ask. Killua didn't seem to like talking about his feelings.
Gon placed a gentle kiss onto Killua's fluffy hair.
"I love you, Killua," Gon whispered so quietly that he could barely hear his own voice.

The end! <3

Which ending was your favorite?